Ankle Tag

Series 1

Episode 1

Gruff and wife Alice are planning a meeting with other new mums and dads when Gruff’s father Bob turns up. Claiming he is on day release from prison after being jailed for fraud, he has actually been paroled and manages to scam his way indoors for a short visit. When a parole officer turns up, he manages to convince that he is living in the house so his ankle tag can be fitted. Gruff fears his fathers presence may ruin his chances of gaining a newspaper column at his friends recommendation. When the friends arrive, Bob is relegated to the garden though manages to talk Gruff letting him back into the kitchen. When the friends find that Bob has been left out, they invite him in to join them where they quickly find that he has been in prison and is on parole. The meeting ends with all the friends delighting in the tales Bob has told of his time inside, when Gruff approaches his friend about the column. His initial preferred idea is rejected, but ends up writing a column on his father being a convict.

Episode 2

Bob has decided that he should begin trying to date again. A neighbour, Margaret, knocks on the door and claims to be the new chair of the neighbourhood watch. Alice commits to attending a meeting to get rid of her. Bob has also met a lady, Ruth, and arranges a date though needs to get his story straight. He finds that she is head of a linen shop and museum. He toys with the idea of telling her his past, but quickly changes his mind when Gruff writes a column which disparages her museum as boring. At the neighbourhood watch meeting, Alice has to contend with a number of authoritarian neighbours with odd ideas who rope her into shift work protecting the area. She quickly ends up leaving the group when she finds the target of the neighbourhood watch is Bob. In the evening, Bob has cooked a meal for Ruth, during which Margaret kicks the door in in an attempt to protect Ruth, and ends up shooting her with a crossbow. Ruth soon finds that most of what she knows about Bob are lies.

Episode 3

Bob is feeling cooped up and has landed the household a large bill watching on demand movies, leaving Gruff to total up the cost of Bob to the family. Commenting that he managed to find a leak in the bath. Gruff wants to hire an ethical plumber named Mariella who Bob thinks is going to scam them by overcharging and breaking something else. Alice meanwhile has taken to shopping at the cash-and-carry in an effort to reduce costs, and ends up becoming a prepper. That evening, the bath begins to leak again so Bob talks Gruff into letting a friend do the job, where he finds bags of drugs under the bath. Gruff works out that she revisits the job after a week to collect the drugs and move them on. Bringing in Terry for support, he waits in the garage where Gruff finds that stash of tinned food which she admits has cost £1000. Mariella arrives for her follow up visit and Gruff tries to make sure she has removed the drugs. However, Alice reveals that the bags are silica crystals she left under the bath to dry out the area.

Episode 4

Gruff is determined to get their one-year old child Karis into a catholic school rather than the local primary despite not being religious. Together with Alice, Gruff ties to convince the priest of their religiousness and bring up the prospect of a future school place which the priest sees coming. Panicking, Alice lies and says they haven’t had Karis baptised sooner due to being on missionary work in Uganda. The priest suggests they give a presentation on their work to the congregation. Managing to blag their way through the presentation, they encounter a older woman who is on to their lies. Coming up with a plan to convince the congregation that the village in Uganda has renounced religion, the congregation becomes even more determined to send them money from a charity bingo event. Alice heads to confessional and admits to the lies. The priest talks her into telling the congregation as he can’t. Bob arrives after they admit the lies with a sister Barbara he claims is from Uganda. Later, Alice and Gruff celebrate as Karis has been promised a place in the school as she ‘will need moral guidance’.

Series 2

Episode 1

Gruff is writing a novel which is to be published by Mills & Boon. Spending the entire night working on another draft which isn’t particularly romantic, Alice takes over. Bob finds that former politician, Richard Flint, who he was in jail with has written a book in an attempt to regain his reputation. When a journalist from the Daily Mail arrives to ask Bob about the book, he plans to blackmail Richard revealing various lies and schemes. Heading to see Richard in prison, Bob ends up cutting a deal to attend a charity book signing. Alice has also rewritten Gruff, using her own experiences much to Gruff’s dismay. At a charity auction for prison reform, Richard attempts to steal some bottles of wine, and admits to Bob he has defrauded a significant sum from the charity. Also at the auction, a stranger, Hakan, has purchased Alice a drink which leaves Gruff a little disturbed before overbidding on an ornament trying to outdo Hakan. Back at home, Alice’s version of the novel is accepted by the publisher.

Episode 2

Gruff is in some despair about having to drop Karis off with Alice’s sister and childminder Lauren, who is useless. Bob meanwhile has to go to the employment office. Arriving at the childminders, Gruff finds a manic scene in the house. While talking to Lauren, she mentions her son who used to be in television adverts when he was younger. Back at home, he spots a television advert for nappies which Bob suggests looks exactly like Karis. Heading over to Lauren’s house, Bob confronts her and says he wants half the money. Lauren reveals she was paid £10,000. Bob initially tells her not to do it again before Lauren mentions she has more spots booked. At home, Bob pretends he has a job with the council to cover his other earnings however his lies come under pressure from Alice. Back at home, Alice also spots the nappy advert and realises it is Karis – and heads off to confront Lauren. Alice tracks down Bob, and goes in with him on the lies to get Karis away from Lauren – with both of them deciding to lie to Gruff about Bob getting a redundancy payment.

Episode 3

Bob takes to watching ‘1982 Night’ on television and enjoys remembering a documentary on the Falklands. Gruff is invited to a party with Alice’s family, but wonders how it will go because Alice’s mother Elaine doesn’t like him – and bringing his ex-con father along may deepen the dislike. On meeting Alice’s mother, Bob introduces himself by mentioning his time locked up, though Elaine seems to take to him. They are also introduced to Elaine’s new partner Jeffrey who was in the army, but Bob suspects he is a conman. Finding out that Jeffrey was fighting in the Falklands, Bob attempts to catch him out. The venue manager was also in the Falklands and offers Jeffrey and Bob a free meal as they are military veterans. Bob’s lies are soon found out. When Bob attempts to apologise the following day, he tries to catch out Jeffrey but makes a hash of the attempt. Gruff eventually manages to show him up in front of Elaine who later finds that Jeffrey has a number of other women who were being conned by him.

Episode 4

Gruff manages to get a spot on the radio as cover for a presenter in the morning, and Alice has a job interview the same day. Requiring a good night sleep, Bob is left looking after Karis. Their car alarm goes off in the middle of the night when Bob tries to calm Karis, and the police soon turn up to question them about the situation as Bob is (just) outside his curfew range. Inviting the officers in, a fast food delivery turns up as Bob has ordered food, and it turns out that Bob has befriended the delivery driver. Together with the officers, they all begin watching a television show and Gruff ends up drinking energy drinks. Alice and Gruff attempt to get some sleep, which fails, so Alice takes to practising her presentation for Bob and friends, and Gruff tries to sleep in the car away from the noise. As sunrise approaches, the officers leave and write off Bob’s ankle tag issue. Gruff heads to the radio station and yawns his way through the radio spot. Alice’s interview also starts badly when she forgets her laptop with the presentation on, however the police officers turn up and provide a stolen laptop cover story. On arriving home, she reveals she got the job.