1. Abu Dhabi
Attempting to land at Fitton Airfield, the home base of MJN Air, pilots Martin and Douglas receive a call from the tower that the runway has been closed for twenty minutes. Martin decides they should divert to Bristol as they may not have enough fuel to wait out the closure while Douglas makes the suggestion to say they smell smoke by lighting his lighter in the cockpit to force a landing as an emergency. Martin makes the call to divert.
Later on, Carolyn is upset at the extra cost the diversion has incurred and that Martin left the hold heater on costing even more money. Discussing the next flight to Abu Dhabi, she demands that they run the flight as cheap as possible as the company does not have enough money to be wasteful.
Arriving at the airfield for the next flight, Carolyn’s son Arthur struggles to tame the cat being transported along with other freight out to Abu Dhabi for a wealthy customer. During the flight, Martin contacts Carolyn to complain about the cheap food served by Arthur as part of the cost-reduction. Carolyn queries whether Martin has checked the hold temperature at which point Douglas cuts them off remembering that the cat is in the unheated hold. Struggling to decide on whether to divert and save the cat from freezing to death, or continuing to avoid the cost of a diversion and wrath of Carolyn, Arthur convinces him to divert.
While Martin and Douglas continue a game of ‘Simon Says’ on a flight to Boston, Carolyn reveals that another job has come up putting pressure on their schedule. Arthur meanwhile has to deal with an unruly passenger who refuses to put out a cigarette. Carolyn soon deals with the issue however, before he sneaks off to the toilet and sets off the smoke alarm. Martin, as captain, tries to deal with the issue but returns to the cockpit with his tail between his legs. When the passenger returns to the toilet to light up another cigarette and again sets off the alarm, Arthur discharges the fire extinguisher into the bathroom, before the passenger collapses of a heart attack.
Douglas talks Martin into turning the plane around due to the medical emergency and head to Reykjavik. Carolyn is upset at the cost landing in Iceland will incur, leaving Martin turning around a number of times over the Atlantic unsure of what to do. The passenger soon dies however, leaving them to progress on to Boston. On landing, the ambulance crew has arrived but refuses to take the body as he is now dead; instead they suggest contacting the coroner. Martin, taking charge of the situation, tells the ambulance crew that he saw the passenger move forcing the ambulance crew to take him.
Heading through security for the return flight, the security agent tells Martin he is confiscating his nasal clippers. Bemused, Martin launches into a tirade that he has a fire axe on board the plane, before suggesting as pilot he could crash it instead, leading to his arrest.
While playing joke announcements over the plane intercom, Carolyn calls Martin and Douglas into the office. Revealing that movie star Esther McCauley is flying tomorrow to Cremona, leaving Arthur excited having seen her in a film. Upon arriving, Martin trips over his words while greeting her. Heading off to speak to Carolyn, Esther is upset at having a gathering of fans awaiting her at the entrance, however Carolyn shows little sympathy, but her quips are soon put down when Esther threatens to have the contract cancelled.
Arriving in Cremona, Martin, Douglas and Arthur drop Esther off at the Excelsior hotel. She convinces them to stay in the same hotel rather than the Garibaldi that Carolyn has booked. Once Esther is out of sight, Martin attempts to get the rooms refunded due to the cost and risk of upsetting Carolyn. Receiving a call from Carolyn, she says she will meet them at the Excelsior for a meal that evening. Heading over to the Garibaldi, Martin and Arthur leave Douglas to stay in the cheap hotel before heading back to the Excelsior. A number of fans show up for Esther, which leaves Martin with an irate phone call to deal with. Douglas has also followed them back to the Excelsior, and vows to solve the issue of the fans by getting them to bid on a meeting with Esther. Talking with Esther, he rides up to the state rooms in the elevator, in which she will now be staying where he has arranged for the twelve fans to wait on her for the evening.
Carolyn arrives questioning where the fans are, announcing that she alerted them to where Esther was staying as revenge for their original meeting. She also drops Douglas in it when she reveals it was his idea to fiddle with where the group were staying.
Heading to Douz to pick up some passengers of Panda Airlines who they believe to have had an aircraft failure, Douglas tells Arthur that he has been siphoning off aviation fuel for use in his car when they check it before takeoff. As they prepare to land, they suffer a hydraulic failure. The tower states that a fire truck will be on standby.
Once they land in Douz, an airport staff member brings over a bill for the fire truck which was put on standby for the landing along with the charges for the rest of the stay. Speaking to the airfield manager, Martin brings up a number of issues with the bill for their stay but only manages to get a reduction in their three hour billed stay. The passengers they pick up are revealed to be customers of a bankrupt airline, which the airfield manager has taken to stripping their former plane to pay their bill. Carolyn now angry, tells the pilots that they look to be doing the trip for free. When the new bill arrives, the airfield manager has added a penalty to the bill for safety violations. Carolyn pays the bill, however the manager decides he is holding them for a further $12,000 due to the debts of Panda Airlines.
Parking the fire track across the nose of the plane and tractor across the rear, and preventing them from taking off without clearance, the air conditioning dies as the airfield manager has reclaimed the fuel from the plane. Douglas and Carolyn discuss the problem, with Carolyn asking whether he has any tricks up his sleeve. Coming up with an idea, Douglas arranges to siphon the fuel from the vehicles blocking them in, has the passengers move a vehicle out of the way, and begins to drive twenty miles down a deserted track to another airfield.
Handing out the schedules for the forthcoming weeks, the group explain to Martin about ‘Birling Day’, a wealthy gentleman named Mr Birling who takes a yearly trip for the Six Nations match. Martin takes a dislike to his pompous demeanour, and fails to understand why Arthur and Douglas both like him, before Arthur reveals he gives big tips. Carolyn appears to check Douglas’ flight bag, as she tells Martin that Douglas takes to stealing Talisker from Birling every year.
During the flight, Birling gets on at Arthur for his job and still living with Carolyn before appearing in the flight deck. Martin tells him to return to his seat, with Birling upset and telling him he won’t be getting a tip. Douglas tries to smooth things over by showing him the flight plan and charts. On landing and waiting for a limousine, Birling is angry that Martin hasn’t “toaded” to him. Carolyn rings Arthur to query how the trip is going, and while on the roof of the plane, remembers that he has left the whisky unguarded.
Back in the plane, Douglas tells Arthur that he hasn’t stolen the whisky and to check it. As Wales are winning, he says he is supporting them because Birling is Welsh and that he gave them a £6,000 tip several years ago. Martin immediately changes his tune, and begins to accommodate Birling. Digging out a quantity of cheap whisky, Birling falls asleep until they land. Having become catatonic, Birling is removed from the plane not having handed out any tips. Douglas reveals he swapped the Talisker with the cheap whisky in his attempt to steal it, but Martin giving Birling the supposed cheap whisky scuppered his plan.
Arriving late to the office, Douglas is chastised by Carolyn as they wait for a customer to appear. Arthur is busy trying to plug and capture water from leaks due to the heavy rain. Deciding to wait in the plane, Arthur suggests they play charades, while Martin suggests running through the standard operating procedures much to the chagrin of Douglas and Carolyn. Douglas leaves to talk to Martin who is upset at their laughing at his procedures, leaving Carolyn and Arthur to discuss an offer from her ex-husband to buy the plane which he used to own.
Still waiting for their client as dusk approaches, Douglas discusses his third wife Helena with Martin. Arthur appears in the cockpit, and they ask him if he is happy. Carolyn enters the cockpit and decides that they can have a drink as they believe the customer is not going to arrive. Some time later with the group a little drunk, the phone rings with the customer telling them he is on his way. Carolyn tells them that they can’t fly and that she will have to make up an excuse. Douglas steps in and tells them he doesn’t drink and rather than having Vodka, always has water.
Once the passenger arrives, Carolyn and Martin attempt to attend to him however he soon realises that they are drunk. Asking to see the pilot, he catches Arthur and Douglas throwing apples to each other. Talking to Arthur who nearly gives the game away, they manage to fly their passenger. The following day while cleaning up, Martin offers to return a left item at home for Douglas. On arriving at the house, he finds that Douglas is dressed in a pilots uniform, and pretends to be a pilot rather than a first officer for his wife.
Arriving onto the plan, Martin finds that the Douglas has filled the flight deck with orchids as a gift for a Finnish friend as he attempts to barter the flowers on for other gifts which he has received. Arthur arrives in a good mood, looking forward to meeting another passenger named Arthur. It is also Carolyn sixty-third birthday, and receives a visit from her estranged sister Ruth, her deaf husband Philip and grandson Kieran, as a gift from Arthur. He reveals that he booked the trip as his present.
Chastising Arthur, Carolyn tells Arthur to get rid of them, but is unable to due to Ruth’s complaining. When Carolyn speaks to Ruth, she takes it as an apology for a previous argument. Kieran is invited into the cockpit and believes he knows more than Martin after playing Flight Simulator. Martin reveals he also spends many hours on Flight Simulator, much to Douglas’ surprise. In the cabin, Carolyn deals with her sisters many questions, before leaving to make a drink. After Ruth fails to bring a cake when requested by Arthur, he attempts to make one on the plane.
After landing in an airfield in near Helsinki, at which Ruth begins to complain. Arthur is held up by the airport security staff due to his cake concoction, which is soon confiscated, before Douglas talks the staff into allowing him to take the cake in for a fee. When Kieran starts to irritate Martin who resorts to giving him a clip round the ear, Kieran attacks Martin. When Ruth begins to complain about Martin, Carolyn and her company, Arthur becomes angered and throws the cake at Ruth, before the plane leaves without Ruth and Kieran. Arthur manages to make a fishcake on the return flight using fish swapped for orchids by Douglas. As they look out the window at the Northern Lights, Philip appears and is happy that they have been left behind, and has been faking deafness.
Playing competition games in the cockpit, Martin and Carolyn try to remember the name of one of the seven dwarves prior to take-off on a flight which will be carrying an orchestra. Carolyn is left dealing with an irritating bassoonist who believes people are trying to kill her, while Martin bets his Brie cheese with Douglas that the air traffic controller will be female. He loses the bet. Bringing up the fact that although he loses most bets, he is still a pilot unlike pretending to be one in front of his wife as Douglas has taken to doing.
Back in the cabin, Carolyn is back dealing with the bassoonist who is complaining about unfamiliar salt on her cashew nuts. Martin then loses another cheese bet while trying to hold his breath the longest, before then losing a strudel in the passenger derby. Martin and Douglas take another bet on which dessert will be more popular. Arthur, in an attempt to help Martin win tries to convince passengers to choose strudel, but the bassoonist is alarmed that the cheesecake is poisoned. The bassoonist challenges Carolyn to eat the cheesecake, but she instead makes Arthur try it.
Taking on one last bet, Martin bets he can land in Gdańsk on time, and ups the stakes with a three month salary wager. Contacting the tower, a thunderstorm ahead is holding them up. Douglas offers to up the stakes, and is willing to be more forgiving if Martin offers to not bring up the story again. Martin refuses, claiming that he needs the story as it is all he has. Having to go around the thunderstorm, Douglas offers his same terms but Martin reveals that he has no salary to give Douglas as he works for free to be captain.
Offering the remainder of their cheese tray to Arthur he spills the secret to Martin and Douglas that Carolyn takes the Camembert off the tray before giving it to Martin and Douglas. Calling her in to the cockpit to complain, she tells them all that their day off is cancelled due to attendance on a refresher safety and emergency procedures course in Ipswich. On the trip over to Ipswich, Arthur struggles to answer a number of questions that may come up on the test.
Arriving at the test centre, the man greeting them is confused as he believed four hundred staff would arriving rather than four, which screws up the catering order somewhat. Also greeting them is the former RAF warrant officer who will be supervising the test. Talking alone with Arthur as he revises, the former officer tries to give him some “help” but struggles to deal with Arthur’s dimwitted approach about what might come up on the test.
In the smoke filled fuselage test, the four attempt to rescue a dummy from the plane. Martin collapses after going dizzy, before Arthur removes his smoke hood in an attempt to see more clearly and collapses himself. Having to be dragged out by Douglas and Carolyn, the group is threatened with failure. Douglas reminds Carolyn that they need nineteen passengers for a flight attendant and only have a sixteen seat aircraft, so they can attempt another go at recovering the dummy from the smoke-filled cabin with Arthur no longer classed as a staff member. They manage to adequately pass.
On route to Paris, Douglas gives orders in his attempt to fly past his daughters birthday party on his day off, having gone two hundred miles out of the way to do it. Carolyn is angry at the detour, particularly at the part where Douglas drops boiled sweets out of the air-brake cavity, which have melted and then subsequently refrozen into a brick and killing a carp.
After submitting a schedule for a flight to Johannesburg, Carolyn wages a bet that they will pay her £1,000 each if they do not complete the flight for less than £12,000. If they do complete the flight, they each get £1,000 from Carolyn. Douglas comes up with a number of possibly illegal tactics to reduce the cost of the flight, though his suggestion of flying with one engine is shot down by Martin.
Once up in the air a warning light appears for a frozen anti-icing system, with Martin deciding to divert. Suggesting Arthur boil water on the now turned off engines for coffee, Douglas discusses getting an engineer to the airport. As the engineers car has broken down, Martin and Arthur resolve to borrow a luggage truck to drive and pickup the engineer before hitting a low bridge and getting stuck. Back at the airfield, Douglas takes on washing the managers car to get a reduction in the airfield bill.
Arriving with the engineer with twenty minutes left until the tower closes, the engineer Diego comes in and reveals the light was the fault, not the wing, and is fixed by a swift tap. As they start the engines, the bottle of water shoots from the rear of the engine and breaks the car window of the airfield manager.
11. Kuala Lumpur
While on standby for the week, Carolyn resolves to try and improve Arthur stewardship skills while Martin suggests setting up a pilots’ lounge. Upon looking in an old aircraft, he finds a number of airfield staff and Douglas in the ‘Flap and Throttle’ which has been running for three years. Martin threatens to get the secret pub shut down for safety.
As he approaches later in the day, Douglas arranges a greeting for Martin in an attempt to placate him. Douglas convinces him to accept a drink before he tells them of his plan to get the bar shut down, but ends up buying everyone a round. Later on while trying to ingratiate himself, Martin tries to talk football but ends up reverting to “shop talk”; against the pub rules and concedes a round of drinks.
Once another shift finishes, Douglas invites Martin to the pub for a game of human skittles. Martin reveals that he hates the pub and wishes he’d never found the place. Meanwhile, Carolyn pressures Arthur with intense customer service requests which causes him to snap. In the pub, Martin takes to boring everyone with aviation talk, but realises the pub is now empty once Arthur walks in. Querying Arthur on where he has been, Martin finds they have a new pub. Calling Carolyn, she arrives threatening to fire Douglas for running an unlicensed bar, however he gives her a drink from a bottle of Talisker which turns out to be apple juice. Getting rid of Martin, she asks Douglas for a gin and tonic.
While carrying a package from Hong Kong to Limerick, Douglas and Martin take to playing rhyming games to pass the time, along with a evil name suggestions game. When Arthur asks for the time, Martin gives him the wrong time as he has bought a watch in Hong Kong. Playing a guessing game as to what is in the box, Arthur has twenty questions to guess.
Carolyn leaves the fly deck, and Martin takes to asking after Douglas’ wife, who is taken aback at the question. Douglas in return queries Martin’s love life, but finds nothing to talk about. Continuing to try to guess the contents of the box, Arthur struggles. When Douglas brings up internet dating to Martin, Carolyn brings up her own love life, but tells them that having Arthur in the same house makes things difficult, before telling Martin and Douglas to mind their own business.
When Carolyn and Arthur leave the cockpit again, Martin is queried on how he makes money when he isn’t paid. He tells Douglas that he is a man with a van after being left it by his father when he died. Bringing up Douglas’ pilot issue again, he tells Martin that he has told his wife that he is only a first officer, and in return she tells him that she has been having an affair. The contents of the box is revealed to be horse sperm, much to Arthur’s disgust. With five hours left on the trip, the group resort to letting Arthur play charades.
Flying on Christmas morning, Arthur is over excited. Receiving a phone call from Carolyn in Tokyo, she tries to change the schedule and have them fly a Russian yacht broker out to Moloka’i, with much bitterness from Douglas. Upset at missing most of Christmas, Arthur is disappointed. While out of the cockpit, Martin tries to come up with an idea on how they can celebrate Christmas for Arthur with few supplies.
On the trip out to Moloka’i, Caroyln tries to woo the client in a bid to win a contract from him. However, he laughs at the suggestion of his client travelling on a flying mini-bus. Martin and Douglas arrange a secret Santa, with Carolyn drawing Martin and gives him a fancy bottle of wine the client wishes to be served after he calls her babushka. Bringing the client up to use the satcom, Douglas gets Martin to swap secret Santa with him, and ending up with himself.
When Martin’s appearance does not impress the client, he tells Carolyn that he believes he is a rule-bender. Attempting to win the contract, Martin ends up revealing that they had done another flight prior to picking up the client. Douglas attempts to pass off Arthur as another pilot in an attempt to extend their flight time. Landing with seven minutes left of Christmas, Martin and Douglas allow Arthur to celebrate and try to improve the Christmas atmosphere by turning on all the plane warning lights. As Christmas day ends, Douglas tells Arthur that they crossed the international date line during the flight and that he gets to celebrate the day again. As one final gift, Arthur reveals the mulled wine he has made by taking the fancy bottle of wine given to Carolyn by the client, with much annoyance from Douglas’.
Preparing to return home from New York, Carolyn reveals the plan will be to make a quick stop in Toronto and then on to Qikiqtarjuaq for a tourist trip to see polar bears. The thought of seeing polar bears delights Arthur but Martin brings up that the plane will be too fast to see them well. Douglas suggests doing a dangerous maneuver, much to Martin’s dismay.
Putting a joke announcement out over the intercom, the expedition supervisor Nancy is irate at Douglas’ lack of professionalism. At being called professional, Martin takes a fancy to her. In the cabin, Nancy talks to Carolyn about the flight not being referred to as an MJN Air flight, and criticises Arthur’s web design choices. To get away from Nancy, Carolyn heads to the cockpit where Douglas suggests a game of Travelling Lemon; a game of hiding a lemon around the plane while another person finds it.
In the cockpit, Martin suggests he will do the planned lecture to the passengers, however Douglas sets him up as a Frenchman. Nancy storms into the cockpit to criticise Martin for failing to control Douglas. While talking alone with Carolyn, Martin reveals that he needs to be paid as he lives in poverty in student accommodation, Carolyn tells him she will think about it, but that the company is loss-making. Spotting a bear out of the window, Douglas takes the plane close to the ground as Martin screams, unbeknownst that the cabin address is turned on. As the passengers disembark, Arthur gives bear facts, and Nancy tries to deflect attention away from her company by calling the trip a MJN flight. Martin approaches Nancy to confront her about the professionalism comments, but ends up making the confrontation with a lemon taped to his cap.
Birling Day is around again. Carolyn prepares for Douglas’ attempt at stealing the bottle of Talisker by handing it over to Martin who will recoup Carolyn’s losses if Douglas manages to steal it. His wife, who has come to see Mr Birling off, gives Douglas and Martin £50 each and tells them that is all they will be getting this year. Prior to the flight, Douglas is searched and Carolyn opens the bottle to check its content. On the plane, Martin hands the whisky over to Arthur for safe keeping.
During the flight, Martin arranges with some difficulty Douglas’ trip to the toilet by keeping him away from the whisky at all times. When Arthur is summoned soon after by Birling to be served his whisky, he repulses on trying the drink and says it is cheap whisky. Douglas is surprised by the events, as he hasn’t had chance to steal it yet, and turns to thinking Martin has stolen it himself. Martin, believing that Douglas has stolen it, takes to asking Birling what has happened. Knowing that Birling couldn’t have taken it, he goes on to question Arthur, but finds that he also couldn’t have replaced the whisky.
Targeting Douglas as the thief again, Martin challenges Douglas on the scheme to steal the bottle. However Douglas remembers that Carolyn was the one who tasted the whisky prior to giving it Martin, and must have been the one who switched the bottles using the nail varnish trick. Contacting Carolyn to tell her that Birling has enjoyed the whisky, Martin gets a shock when Douglas swaps the whisky he stole for a cuff-link each worth £1,000. Douglas reveals he managed to steal the whisky by painting an anti-nail biting liquid on the glass before it was given to Birling, and then when the bottle was rejected as cheap whisky, he took it.
Carolyn reveals that they have a flight to Newcastle to take a relief Air Caledonian crew. Martin brings his CV in, in an attempt to talk someone in giving him a job. Pilot Hercules (usually called Herc) arrives, who is a former friend of Douglas’ from Air England. He also introduces Linda, the first officer, to Martin and Douglas. Martin immediately begins to trip over his words.
Joining the flight to Newcastle, Carolyn challenges Herc on saying well done to her for being an airline CEO which aggravates Martin who wants to get Herc alone to discuss a job. Talking Arthur into getting his mum to move, Arthur says he spots smoke, forcing Martin to take the decision to land. Dealing with the difficult engineer Eddie who spots the tail light has blown, Martin demands he replace it “by the book”. This incurs significant delay.
While talking to Linda, she reveals that she got her job without using her dad as head pilot, having any input. Eddie completes the replacement of the bulb, and Martin signs the tech-log before launching into a rant a little too early, at which point Eddie grounds the plane while they check all two hundred plus radio channels. Once the plane lands, Martin asks Linda up to the cockpit for a date, but she turns him down. She also prevents him from handing over his CV before he gets chance. Douglas discusses with Herc about possibly joining Caledonian, but Herc talks him out of it, suggesting he wouldn’t get the job. Carolyn also considers a date offer from Herc. Herc offers his card to Arthur after being impressed by the way he handled the delay.
17. Ottery St Mary
Douglas is alone flying while Martin is on his day off. Martin rings from the hospital where he has sprained his ankle attempting to show someone how not to sprain an ankle, and needs Arthur to help him drive a piano two hundred miles from Fitton to Ottery St Mary. Douglas offers his own help, much to Martin’s surprise. Arriving at the house to collect the piano, Douglas finds Martin has named his company Icarus Removals; noted for a pilot who went mad.
Carolyn has a free day, and contacts Herc to see whether he wants to go out for a meal, where she criticises Herc for being vegetarian. Starting off on the trip to Devon, Arthur starts playing “yellow car” each time he spots a yellow car. While out on a walk with Herc, Carolyn has to shout her dog called Snoop-a-doo; named by Arthur. On the road to Ottery St Mary, Arthur has forgotten the envelope with the address of the pub where the piano is being delivered leading them to have to head back to the airfield.
Back at the airfield, Douglas has the piano unloaded to play for Carolyn as a joke when she shows up. Unfortunately, the van keys gets locked in. Douglas’ only suggestion is to fly the piano in the plane. Arthur raises the point on how they are going to get the piano to the pub once they land, at which they resolve to pushing the piano the entire way. On arriving at the delivery point, the van keys are found inside the piano after Douglas shut the lid on them.
Playing a rhyming game, Douglas answers the satcom phone wondering who it could be as Carolyn and Arthur are both on the plane. Upon answering the phone, it turns out to be Herc who has a message for Carolyn. Later, Douglas is attempting to film Carolyn for the company welcoming video and Arthur will act the safety portion of the film. Although Carolyn’s attempt is poor, Martin’s attempt is worse, as is Arthur’s.
Querying the next flight which turns out to be Rotterdam, Douglas asks if he can “nip” over to Spa in Belgium to watch the Grand Prix. He attempts to bribe Carolyn with his doing the welcome video in exchange for borrowing the plane. The following day, Martin presents a video to Carolyn on his take on the welcome video which turns out to be cult-leader like, and finds that Carolyn has instead hired an actor also named Martin.
Seating himself in the pilots seat, actor Martin turns out to be terrible who reveals to pilot Martin that he doesn’t get much work and is mainly a taxi driver. He reveals he is waiving his fee as he has always wanted to be an actor, and feels he gets no recognition, much like pilot Martin. Douglas finally looks to be able to do the video in exchange for visiting the Grand Prix, however Herc arrives much to Douglas’ dismay. With some back and forth between Douglas and Herc compete for the video, but Douglas wins out in both doing the cockpit portion of the video and the safety announcement; as Dougie.
19. Saint Petersburg
Preparing to leave Saint Petersburg, Arthur gets his hand stuck to the hold door when he removes his glove trying to open it. Douglas frees it with vodka. The flight takes off and Douglas begins a travel rhyming game which Martin isn’t very good at before the alarm sounds on the panel with a fire in the number two engine. Martin contacts the tower and gets a priority landing which he manages to complete without any complaint from Douglas.
Talking to Arthur on the ground, Carolyn and Douglas return to confirm a bird strike, and that the engine would cost a quarter of million pounds to replace. Looking to be the end of MJN, Douglas suggests selling the plane to her wealthy ex-husband Gordon and tells Martin that every year he calls trying to buy it. Carolyn refuses to even consider selling the plane to her ex. After calling her ex, he announces he will be coming to Saint Petersburg straight away.
Gordon arrives and checks out the plane with his engineer which takes some time. He offers £500, and always wanted the plane because she called the airline “My Jet Now”. Discussing on the way to the hotel, Douglas queries why he wanted the plane so much and turns around the taxi. He suggests that Gordon is having the plane repaired to steal it. Unbolting the control and having it put outside in the freezing temperature, Gordon puts his hand on the reattached control where they stick to it. Carolyn, Douglas and Martin appear and blackmail him into saying he will hand over the engine in exchange for using Gin to remove his hands.
Playing “beat the manual” games in the flight deck, Douglas has plans to watch the rugby final. Arthur becomes excited at Birling Day, but Martin and Douglas have to reveal to Arthur that Birling Day is cancelled due to the match being at Twickenham. Getting a call through from tower, they are told that an angry drunk man is awaiting them at Fitton. Upon arriving, Birling is awaiting them and wants them to fly him to Timbuktu.
Martin enters the cockpit with a problem; there is a civil war in Mali and the airfield is closed. Awaiting a suggestion from Douglas and Carolyn, Martin suggests flying somewhere like Timbuktu and telling Birling otherwise. Douglas arranges for the trip to Sardinia where he has a friend at the airfield who can pretend they are in Timbuktu. Before takeoff, Birling complains when told he is not getting his Talisker due to his not booking the flight in advance. Douglas offers to sell a bottle he stole from Carolyn for £200, but instead she plans on stealing it herself.
Around an hour from Sardinia, Martin begins to worry that Birling will see they are landing on an island, so Carolyn plans on getting him drunk by purchasing the Talisker; now for £300. Upon landing, Arthur is also unaware that they are really in Sardinia. Birling begins to suspect something is going on, and is upset at half-time when Italy and winning comprehensively. Meanwhile, Carolyn has found the bottle of whisky with some help from Martin and £200. As they prepare to leave, Arthur suggests a tour. Birling soon finds that he is not in Timbuktu and promises not to sue or pay for the flight. Back in the cockpit on the return, Carolyn reveals to Douglas she has the whisky and pays Martin the £200, of which he gives £100 to Douglas and has learnt never to side against Douglas on Birling Day.
In Cork, Arthur reveals that Carolyn is in a bad mood, and arranges a stop off in Kilkenny to buy Herc a birthday present. They arrive rather quickly at the mostly empty airport, and Carolyn arranges a taxi and tells Martin to come with her while leaving Arthur and Douglas back at the airport. At the farm to pick up the present, it is revealed to be a stuffed sheep. On heading outside, they find that the taxi has gone and are left waiting in the rain. Martin queries the purchase of the sheep, which Carolyn says she has bought because Herc hates sheep. The taxi returns and refuses to carry the sheep, until Martin talks the driver round.
Back at the airport, Arthur and the airport manager have fun with the security gate and tannoy. In the taxi, Carolyn is bad tempered and complains at the speed of the taxi which results in them getting them thrown out. Carolyn bosses Martin up to the top of a tree in an attempt to get phone reception, before finding a bee hive in a dead branch. On getting back to the ground, having been stung on the finger, Martin is forced to take off his father’s signet ring. Carolyn talks a driver into giving a lift to the airport, with Martin going in the back of a truck with geese which promptly eats his ring.
Arriving at the airport, Martin requires Douglas’ help in getting the ring back from the goose. Douglas suggests putting each goose through the metal detectors. Martin refuses to fly before he gets his ring back.
As Carolyn and Hercules prepare to go on holiday, she gives orders to Douglas, Martin and Arthur to man the phones and email. Martin soon receives a call from Princess Theresa of Liechtenstein who wants to charter a flight from Vaduz to Fitton with her father. Calling Carolyn, she tells Herc that she will return to work the flight, much to his annoyance.
Arriving at the start location in Vaduz to collect the King and Princess, Martin dons a number of medals as is protocol, providing much ridicule from Douglas. On holiday, Hercules is trying to get Carolyn to reveal her feelings, but suggests they won’t get married as Herc has already been married four times. Knocking on the door to the house, Theresa answers. Introducing the King, who turns out to be a teenager on his return to school, he has conflicts with Arthur on how to play “yellow car” on the way to the airport. At the airport preparing for take-off, the plane has been overfilled with fuel due to a mix up and Douglas suggests that they can take-off, but not land as they won’t have burned enough fuel.
Talking with Carolyn, Herc reveals he needs to know Carolyn’s feelings as he may have to be redeployed to Zurich as Air Caledonia is being bought out by Swiss Airways, or be out of a job. Carolyn suggests he should go. As they prepare to land, Martin asks the tower at Fitton to hold for some time. While talking to Theresa who knows a fair amount about aircraft after wanting to be a pilot herself, Martin receives a call from Carolyn who is angered by the plane circling. Theresa takes on the call, and gets Martin out of trouble by claiming she ordered the circling while they wait for Carolyn to arrive. As thanks, Martin invites her out on a date to Duxford Air Museum which she accepts.
Attempting a game of one syllable word sentences, Martin, Douglas and Carolyn receive a call from Arthur that Martin’s mother Wendy has called and that she is in hospital after having a heart attack. Martin’s sister Catherine also turns up. Although she hasn’t had a heart attack, the doctor suggests it is angina and that she could stay on as an out-patient. Douglas’ next flight is alone, and suffers a continuation of the previous game in competing with Carolyn.
At Martin’s mums house, Martin struggles to care for his stubborn mother. While being briefed for his next shift, Martin struggles to stay awake and is sent home by Carolyn who suggests talking to his family about how much he has to do with his removal company. She suggests that Arthur could take over looking after his mum, who delights in taking care of her by playing games. On arriving at the house, Martin helps with the jigsaw that Arthur and his mum are doing. He tells her about his removal business, and is delighted at the thought of him working for himself.
On the plane, Douglas attempts to give a tannoy announcement using only one syllable words as they prepare a return home. Simon arrives at his Wendy’s, much to Martin’s dismay. Later discussing his relationship with his brother with Douglas who has a habit of picking him up and hugging him, Martin is happy when Douglas suggests Carolyn, Arthur, and himself call in on his mother before their flight to Stansted. Carolyn and Douglas are still playing the game, and come across as ridiculous, making things difficult for Martin who declares an amnesty. Douglas and Carolyn, finally onside, take aim at Simon’s job and put him down in comparison to Martin with the story of the one-engined landing. On leaving, Wendy reveals they all knew about the removal company but didn’t talk about it because he never mentioned it. She also tells him not to put his brother down again, as they do think fondly of him.
With nineteen minutes left to leave Xinzhou before dusk, Arthur is upset at not being able to finish his snowman he has been building. When Martin returns from his walk around, the plane has started but has lost its Auxiliary Power Unit, used to start the plane. With eleven minutes, Martin suggests they can’t take off as the snow is slushy, but Douglas disagrees. On the runway, Martin smells bacon in the cockpit. Clearance to take-off is denied due to the tower suggesting they return to pick up the snowman, having left it behind. The delay prevents them taking off and they have to wait until the following morning, but are unable to shut down the plane. Arthur is delighted at the news they will all be sleeping on the plane for the night.
In the cockpit, Carolyn can also smell bacon. Carolyn is going to miss an opera, but when Herc’s name is mentioned, she tells Martin and Douglas that he is in Zurich anyway house hunting as Air Caledonia is being taken over. Martin thinks of applying at Swiss Airways. Arthur makes a mistake with the catering, and has ordered baby food and no breakfast. Settling down for sleep, the group try to play various games before the APU warning goes off because of overheating due to snow blocking the inlet. Returning, Martin finds his shirt is smelling of fried bacon.
Several hours later, the APU warning is still sounding frequently and Arthur is sent out to perform clearance duty. Martin complains of hunger, and Douglas offers his baby food as he isn’t hungry after rustling something up at the hotel. Martin considers Zurich himself, it being close to Liechtenstein and Princess Theresa. Douglas reveals he took Martin’s travel iron to fry bacon. Arthur has been lost for some time, and going out they find someone near the tail of the aircraft where Arthur has built a snowman which can be used to block the APU inlet.
Being greeted rather unusually by Carolyn, Douglas and Arthur, Martin has a letter waiting for him with a Swiss stamp where he is being invited for an interview after previously completing a technical exam. With a trip out for the Russian yacht salesman who requires two pilots on the same day, Carolyn arranges for Herc to fly with Douglas. At the airport, Martin heads out on the flight to Yverdon-les-Bains for the interview for a first officer position. Douglas is even more put out by Herc getting the pilots seat.
At the interview, he meets captain Elise who will be conducting the interview, and soon trips over his words and struggles with a committing to his answers. Douglas and Herc are soon having disagreements via the tannoy, until Carolyn puts a stop to it. The cheese tray is little competition for Douglas as Herc is vegetarian, but Douglas takes a wanting to the fruit tray given to Herc. When offered dragonfruit, Arthur suffers an allergic reaction as he also tends to with strawberries. The CEO of Swiss Airways arrives in the interview, where Martin’s reviews by Carolyn, Arthur and Douglas are good and his technical exam results are 100%. The interviewers want to know how he cheated, but Martin manages to prove that he knew the answers after studying the manual. The CEO attempts to end the interview, but Martin persuades him to stay after taking time out himself.
Struggling with Herc being referred to as skip by Arthur, Douglas sees himself becoming Martin. Martin is also struggling to deal with hypothetical procedural questions over technicalities. Carolyn suggests on the return leg that they pick him up from Yverdon-les-Bains. Martin decides to be honest at what is biggest weakness is, and that he isn’t very good at flying, and that it doesn’t come naturally to him. The CEO announces that he is going to give Martin the job despite Elise saying he gave a terrible interview. At the airport, Arthur greets Martin who asks him whether he got the job. Martin reveals he got the job, but when Carolyn and Douglas arrive, he tells them they will let him know.
26/27. Zurich Part 1 & 2
After some probing, Martin reveals that he has been given the job with some help from Theresa who congratulates Martin, though he worries he has finished the airline. Carolyn takes to firing both Martin and Douglas in attempt to persuade Martin to take the job. Martin suggests Arthur could take his van for a new job, while Douglas is confident he can walk into any job. Carolyn also suggests that she can sell the plane and that despite everything, this is a happy ending for the company.
In the plane with Hercules, Carolyn is saddened at the end. Hercules suggests she move to Zurich with him, but she is quickly angered by the suggestion. Douglas takes on a new job delivering newspapers as pilot, but his fellow pilot and company owner fails to build a rapport via games. He is even more shocked that they have to unload their own plane.
Back at the office which has now been emptied, Martin is still wondering why he was picked due to lack calmness and resource. Arthur turns up in the van, and has converted it into an ice cream van which only sells strawberry Calippo. He has also replaced the break pads for £2,000 which are worth four times the price of the van.
The plane is transferred to the auction on its final flight with bidding starting at £8,000. Dropping down, another man named Bruce bids £6,000, however Martin attempts to bump the price up a little. Gordon has since arrived and bids £15,000 in his attempt to finally get the plane. Carolyn bids £20,000, but forces Douglas to bid when the auctioneer tells her she can not buy her own plane. Arthur arrives and finds his dad bidding up to £90,000. Gordon drives the price up to a quarter of a million, before Arthur bids ten million pounds.
Heading off to the auctioneers office, Douglas heads off to find Gordon. In the office, Carolyn persuades the auctioneer to sell the aircraft to Bruce as the bids from Gordon, Douglas, Martin and Arthur weren’t genuine. Brokering a deal with Gordon, Douglas arranges a 10% brokers fee if he can convince Carolyn to sell the plane to him. Working out that the plane must be worth much more than the quarter of a million he bid, Carolyn gives the go ahead to get the plane back from Bruce.
Arthur takes Martin, Douglas and Theresa to Douglas’ bank to collect £12,000 to pay Bruce. When they arrive at the airfield, Douglas pretends to be Gordon after Bruce reveals he had a £14,000 offer from an Australian while up in the air. Only having the £12,000 in cash, Martin suggests handing over the van as well. Discussing restarting MJN, Carolyn and Herc talk about their relationship. He reveals she is not usually his type, but that he genuinely loves her and he is not saying it easily like he has done in the past. They discuss marriage.
On the plane, Martin and Douglas fly GERTI back to Fitton where they begin the search of the aircraft. Gordon arrives at the airfield while they are searching the plane, and starts to badmouth Carolyn about turning down the money. Arthur queries what is stored on the plane, and soon works out that Gordon is lying about there being nothing aboard when he says he wants the plane because of the name Gerti; supposedly after his mother who was actually named Maude.
Douglas pressures Gordon into revealing the item on the plane, which was put on there by Gordon prior to his divorce from Carolyn. Douglas works out that the wiring on the plane is made of gold, with the many miles of cable being changed previously. Martin finds that with the extra weight of the gold which made GERTI hard to fly, he isn’t as bad a pilot as he previously thought.
With the new found wealth of MJN, Carolyn offers Martin a salary if he wishes to stick around, but he has decided to leave for Zurich. Martin suggests hiring a new pilot, at which point Herc has decided he will stick around and work for MJN as captain. Carolyn makes another suggestion in that Douglas will be captain and Herc will take the first officer position. The first flight to Addis Ababa has the company name changed to Our Jet Still (OJS) Air, with Douglas and Herc finding themselves playing travelling lemon.