Colin Jackson and Kenneth Farley-Pittman are two chemistry teachers working at Forrester Sixth Form College, where their department is languishing due to the college specialising in drama. However, the death of the department head threatens to change things when his Dr Alison Hatton arrives. The pairs lives revolve around a local Indian restaurant and a local weekly "film club". Socially awkward Colin panics when he meets Alison, and Kenneth is shocked when she reveals she is hired as head rather than himself. Kenneth worries that their ale-brewing in the disabled toilet will be discovered, and Colin's boycotting of film club in favour of finding someone to talk to doesn't help matters. Alison and Colin also find that Kenneth has been living in the department head's office, but the pressing matter of handling the department finances takes precedence, and increasing course uptake at a forthcoming open day. Agreeing to go out for a meal with Colin in exchange for his attendance at the open day, the three end up at the Indian cheering the success of a full complement of students for the coming year.
1. Moving House
Kenneth and Colin arrive to a staff meeting to find Alison talking with student Donna, much to their surprise that a female has signed on to the course. Alison reveals that she thinks an intruder has been sleeping in the office, and demands a clamp down on security though also mentions that she is planning on moving house. Donna questions whether Colin will ask Alison out in their next lesson, which immediately has him retreating to the cupboard, though she encourages him to find his own place first rather than continue to live with his parents. Alison meanwhile is also looking for a flat, though an offer of a spare room from attractive art teacher Danny, has Colin panicking. Kenneth decides on moving to the more luxurious art block, though on returning to the science block discovers Donna, who he has to agree a pact with when he discovers she is making drugs and she knows about his living arrangements. Alison heads over to Colin's to view his "spare room", though also has to contend with Danny's mocking of him living at home, until Kenneth gives him some drugs, though Alison resorts to taking another flat instead.
2. Real Ale
At a staff meeting, Danny turns up to invite Alison to an event. Colin and Kenneth disparage it as "hippy-drivel", though Danny lets loose about an ale-making competition at the same event. The pair also hope to meet brew-making hero Roger Halliday who will be the judge. When Danny suggests he will enter the competition, Colin decides to compete and make his own in an attempt to impress Alison, leaving Kenneth sidelined. He has to enlist the help of Donna, as it is usually Kenneth who does the work, to make the ale. Colin and Kenneth resort to not talking to each other, with Colin being banned from film club as well as taking up separate tables at their local Indian. With the brew produced, Donna encourages Colin to make up with Kenneth which he eventually does. Colin also finds that Kenneth hasn't brewed any ale for the competition since their falling out. Roger also comes to visit Kenneth in the disabled toilet, but ends up drinking all the ale before the trio attempt to break into an enclosure and fight some geese, with Colin and Kenneth getting caught by the police and Alison having to come and rescue them. At the competition judging, a surprising winner emerges.
3. Field Trip
The science group are off on a field trip to a wind farm for a couple of days with Alison and Danny being in charge. However, Donna and the rest of the class have a night visit to a festival planned. Colin and Kenneth are being left back at the college, though when Colin hears Danny is going, he agrees to both also coming. Danny is less than pleased however when he discovers Colin and Kenneth will be joining them. Colin insists on hanging around when Danny plans dinner, leaving Kenneth to head off to the local pub. Over a game of Cluedo, the tension between Colin and Danny increases and almost breaks into a fight, which leads Alison to storm off to bed. In the early hours while cooking, Kenneth sets fire to his pants and the four staff realise that the students are gone. Heading out to look for the students, Danny drives the car into a lake leaving them stranded. When dawn breaks, Donna awakens the four staff only a short distance from the hostel, and manages to concoct a story which gets her out of any trouble.
4. Bonfire Night
Danny makes another attempt to ask Alison out by way of his new sports car, though it will interfere with the upcoming bonfire party which Donna reminds him of. Colin and Kenneth are charged with purchasing the fireworks, though Alison is rather unhappy at the budget allocation. Alison cancels the fireworks, and Danny tries to muscle in with a replacement drama show, though Colin and Kenneth set about making their own. The pair also discover that Danny is the one who revealed to Alison the cost of the fireworks, and set about making their own. Alison finds that someone has been enquiring about fuses and fertiliser from the college, with Donna tipping the pair off that someone from MI5 is being sent to investigate. When Colin lets slip about the disabled toilet, they take to hiding the firework in the local Indian restaurant. Donna tips the MI5 agent off that the drama department are the subversives to get him away from Colin and Kenneth. Setting the firework off as Danny's play begins, the firework explodes as it crashes into Danny's car. Colin also works up the courage to ask Alison out though a dinner at the Indian doesn't exactly go to plan.
5. Forresters FM
As the end of term approaches, Colin and Kenneth are required by Alison to fill in their staff assessment forms despite not wanting to do them. Danny is also putting a rendition of Wuthering Heights on the radio which is being broadcast from the college for a week, though he uses Alison opposite him which Colin believes is an attempt to seduce her. Colin tries to setup his own play to compete which involves Kenneth and Alison, though Danny makes a bet that it will be a failure. As Friday arrives, the play is broadcast as a science-based version of Doctor Who though Kenneth decides to insert adverts for the local Indian in the middle of it while drunk. Danny wins their bet, and Alison returns from the principal's office with good news and bad news. Kenneth has to apologise for getting naked in the foreign languages department after the show, though they discover their performance was a hit, and the principal wants more scripts produced. Heading to the local Indian, they discover the restaurant is packed with students where Danny discovers the success of the show, and is also rejected by Alison.