Miscatex

Safety Catch

Series 1

1. Show Me You Care

Simon McGrath believes he is a good person despite being an arms dealer for Heathcote Sanders. Working in an office, he hopes to get out of the business and into his calling of electronic music. Colleague Boris however meanwhile shows no remorse about his employment, and rationalises that they are also good guys in supplying peacekeeping forces. Simon also has to contend with partner Anna who is morally opposed to his job and refers to his office as the "Ministry of Death". The pair also take to planning their anniversary, Simon wonders what present he can get her. He speaks to both his mother Angela, who approves of the job security and pay his work provides, and his sister Judith who works for Oxfam who despises his job for the suffering it causes. Heading to Ashford train station to get on the Eurostar with Anna, Simon surprises her with a trip to London as his anniversary gift, while Judith sets up a meeting with a man from the Gambia to talk to Simon about his work.

2. A Wanting Man

At Heathcote Sanders, Simon is being interviewed by PHD student and Judith's friend, Sophie, about his work and how he lives with himself. Although she is heavily against his work, Boris afterwards questions she was really flirting with him and which leads Simon to become convinced she is attracted to him. His best friend's are Christening their fifth child, and Simon wonders whether this time he will get to be a godfather. Meeting Sophie again, Simon decides to take the callous route with some of his remarks, and quickly gets a dinner invite to her house which he accepts. Receiving a phone call from Angela, Simon is questioned about his plan to have an affair and ropes Boris into the phone conversation to get the juicy details, and surprisingly receives encouragement from the pair. Simon also finds his chance of being a godfather dashed again, as a prisoner and drug addict are instead chosen. Simon and Sophie also come to learn things about themselves.

3. Loose Lips Sink Ships

Taking to comparing the people in his life to fruit, Simon is feeling grumpy due to his sisters imminent arrival with her new boyfriend, Ol. Working at the sea sanctuary, Ol quickly learns he is an arms dealer though he proves more amenable to Simon's job than he expected. Ol meanwhile is dealing with the remnants of an oil slick off the coast of Liberia, which was in part caused by an explosion caused by munitions. However, several days later, Ol contacts Simon to reveal that his name is actually Zachary and works as a journalist working for the Independent, and Simon has revealed a huge number of company secrets. With Boris suggestion this is a good way for Simon to leave, he hears from Zachary again who wants Simon to do a tell-all interview as an anonymous source. Boris however comes up with another idea of modifying the tape to undercut Zachary's credibility though requires Judith's help when he dumps her.

4. Whatever Happened to the Unlikely Lad?

Simon, Boris, Judith and Anna have a school reunion upcoming, though Simon is less than enthused about attending. Judith questions whether he is against going because of his profession, while Anna insists that he should be considerate to her and go. At the reunion, Boris finds that Anna is still terrified of him while also remembering his loneliness at school and Simon being his only friend. Catching up with former friends, he manages to avoid revealing his career. He also has a discussion with former philosophy teacher Mr. Kendall, who questions whether Simon's sixteen year old self would be proud of his older self. Meeting former friend Stuart, Simon reveals that Judith works for Oxfam though shows a distinct lack of interest. while Judith lets slip about Simon's arms trading, which gets around and everyone finds fascinating including Mr. Kendall. The situation results in Simon telling everyone what he thinks, and leaves Judith feeling proud of him for once.

Series 2

1. Brothers in Arms

Now having been at the company for five years, Simon takes a stand against which is promptly ignored by everyone except accountant colleague Peter who has the same excuses he does. With his newfound friendship, Simon feels that he has known Peter for longer than a week which leaves Boris somewhat envious. In the car park, a ringing car alarm, has news that Peter has committed suicide by jumping from his office window. Home is also proving difficult for Simon who is trying to freshen up his relationship with Anna by way of improving their conversations, while Judith suggests she actually feels some amount of respect for Peter for his emotional handling of his work. With things going badly, everyone ends up the park at Simon's prompting suggesting he has taken a large amount of pills as a cry for help. When the ambulance arrives, his six Sudafed prove to be less than fatal.

2. I Draw the Line

Boris is contemplating the idea of freshening up the product line-up which involve selling uniforms to child soldiers in Eritrea, which leaves Simon "drawing the line". Anna meanwhile is looking forward to her salsa class with Simon whose lack of enthusiasm has them staying in. Back at work, Boris believes that Anna is looking to have a baby while he also loses his battle to prevent the company selling children's uniforms. This leads to Simon "resigning" which disappoints his mother and pleases his sister. He also has to think about breaking up with Anna when he decides he doesn't want a child. Judith tries to help Simon pick out his new career - working in the charity sector - though the idea ends with the dismal pay. Returning to Heathcote Sanders with a change of mind about resigning, and has to persuade boss Madeline to take him back. At work, Simon pushes for a care package to go with the uniforms.

3. If a Job’s Not Worth Doing

Judith is irate at having missed a movie she wanted to see at the cinema, and takes to venting on Simon who defends himself by insisting that him doing his job badly prevents someone else from doing it well. While out with Anna and his mother and picking out house-ware, Simon reveals that friends Richard and Julia have broken up after five years together. This leads talk on to what their friends would say about them if they separated, and sets about a scheme of finding out what they would say. At work, Simon avoids trying to get Heathcote Sanders out of legal trouble, until Boris and Madeline's bad ideas lead to him having to intervene, and the realisation that he might love his job. Back at home, Anna and Simon discover that all their friends think they are wrong for each other which has them putting more effort into staying together to annoy them, and getting engaged. However, Simon's mother soon steps in with her opinion on their relationship.

4. There Will Be Paint

Simon suggests the company head out paint-balling to get them to consider the reality of war, though Boris is not keen on the lack of proper violence. Boss Madeline meanwhile agrees to the idea, and the idea of Simon in camouflage leaves Anna wondering how macho he won't look in it. Judith also reveals she loves paint-balling as she's in a league with Oxfam. Simon also finds out that his mum has a sex-life with her new boyfriend, Roger. Heathcote Sanders find they are competing against a well-trained accountancy company and the arms dealers are soon massacred and leads to them having post-traumatic stress disorder when back in the office. Simon and Judith both get to meet Roger who begins to feature in Simon's traumatic nightmares. At a barbecue, Roger challenges Simon to an egg-roulette game which leads to Simon's mother breaking up with him.

Series 3

1. Better the Devil You Know

Madeline is due to make an announcement and Boris is taking bets on the contents. She eventually reveals that Heathcote Sanders are to be taken over by American rival Blue Fire, with redundancies expected. Back at home, Anna meanwhile is upset at Simon still not learning to put the seat down after using the toilet, which leads to Simon feeling like he is being changed. Simon's mother is upset at the idea of the company being taken over, and Simon's revelation that he is likely to be let go. Boris meanwhile is practising for his meeting with the representative from Blue Fire, as Simon plots how to get a redundancy payment. However, his tactics go wrong when he is instead made CEO. Anna also finds out that Simon has moved his mother in to ensure the toilet seat is put down after he finishes, as a show of trying to improve himself. In the office, the merger ends up collapsing when Madeline cooks the financial numbers.

2. What’s My Motivation

Judith has just completed a marathon to raise money for cancer research, though Simon can't believe that she did it without any outside pressure or trying to impress someone. He works out that he needs to become self-motivated. Meanwhile, back at work, Simon receives a phone call from his mother who is bored and is considering going back to work, though Simon puts himself in the position of getting her a job with Heathcote Sanders. Setting about beginning to compose music, though trying to stave off procrastination, work also becomes a struggle with his mother in the building. She does however prove to be a consummate professional, much to Simon's surprise and Judith's dismay. His struggle to be self-motivated however leads to him arguing with a computer rather than get on with composing, as he takes to visiting an arcade instead. Angela receives the offer of an office manager position, but turns it down, as she develops a conscious about working in the arms industry.

3. Uncomfortably Numb

Simon is undergoing his employee review with Madeline, and makes suggestions of them getting out of the arms exports industry, while Madeline suggests he should stop worrying about other people. When she steps out of the room, he discovers she has a dead Robin in the drawer. Anna meanwhile wants Simon to get to know her parents better, which Angela suggests is borne out by his refusal to make a bigger commitment to her. When Judith brings up the idea of compassion fatigue, Simon broaches the topic with Boris and queries whether he was ever feel compassion for victims of war. Simon begins testing a theory of draining the compassion from himself. Meanwhile, Simon discovers the reason he has never hit it off with Anna's parents are because they are scared of him, while also finding their marriage is a sham after forty years.

4. Unforgivable, That’s What You Are

Heathcote Sanders is the centre of media attention when weapons the company has sold end up in the hands of the Taliban and are turned against the British. The situation, which also puts Simon and Boris pictures on the front cover of The Guardian leads Simon to wonder if he should seek forgiveness. Back home, things are going well with Anna until they realise that they are not sure why they love each other. Simon also discovers from Judith that his relationship seems implausible. At his mothers suggestion, Simon encounters the vicar to question the subject of forgiveness and rediscovering his faith. Anna and Simon make a breakthrough in their relationship and find that never of them is the "sensible one". At the Heathcote Sanders annual general meeting, Madeline puts Simon and Boris up to journalist questioning during which Simon works out a few things about himself, and manages to confound the company critics at the same time.