Miscatex

Shush!

Series 1

1. Top Shelf

Alice and Snoo are librarians at Woodgrove Library, where Alice takes her job very seriously despite being scared of everything, while Snoo is a slightly confused and disorganised person with little knowledge of books. The pair try to work out how to get more visitors through the door. Regular visitor Dr Cadogan, a celebrity doctor to the stars arrives for help with photocopying of files of his famous patients. Alice and Snoo also fill out an application form they believe is for an award, but Dr Cadogan suggests it is actually to find out which libraries should be shut down. Alice also has to deal with Dean, a man she fancies who wants to stock adult magazines in the library. A man, Simon, is tasked with shutting down inefficient libraries also turns up, though his mission is one that he hates.

2. Mobile Library

The library is busy with the council happy at the increased use as Alice queries whether they will approve a building extension. Simon also has "alarming" news that he has discovered someone is sleeping over night in the library. Snoo arrives late, having struggled to park the ice cream van she has bought and hopes to convert into a mobile library. Alice being unable to leave the library due to agoraphobia admits to Snoo and Dr Cadogan that she is the one who has been sleeping in the library, and Snoo begins to wonder if she has wasted her money and gets into an argument with a competing ice cream seller when he accuses her of being on his pitch. Simon and his teddy bear also take to staking out the library at night to catch the intruder.

3. Tome Raider

Alice is finding that the books are wet, and wonders whether the building has a damp problem. Simon also sets about telling Alice that he loves her, but she ends up not hearing everything he has said and ending up believing that he has come out as gay. Dr Cadogan is also found to be licking books by Simon, and upon confronting him, he reveals he is absorbing 'spong', a drug-like substance which he deals to his patients. Simon resorts to banning him from the library, which leads Alice and Snoo setting about supplying Dr Cadogan books from her father's mansion, by way of a tunnel Alice has dug from the library. Simon meanwhile has to deal with various friends of Dr Cadogan trying to get a supply of spong that they crave.

4. New Romantics

Snoo suggests the library open a toddler group as part of ideas for funding, for which they have enough budget for two ideas running for a week each. Dr Cadogan meanwhile arrives and suggests more therapy for Alice who now has more that forty phobias including poetry. Simon is feeling glum, and decides on quitting his job to become a poet, with funding provided by the library. Alice meanwhile struggles to look after the toddler group, and can't make it through Simon's attempted poetry reading. Heading up to the roof to sulk, Alice follows Simon to attempt to cheer him up and listen to his poem, though she ends up falling off the roof. However, a luckily placed bouncy castle placed out front saves them from any injury.

Series 2

1. Dewey Decimal

An International Librarians' Conference lead Alice and Snoo to be invited to Geneva. Snoo has a problem however with heading abroad in that she doesn't have a passport, though Dr Cadogan suggests he can get one, as Snoo admits she isn't a citizen and has no documentation. His other suggestion is that they get married so Snoo can become a valid citizen, though the surprising news of Alice getting married upsets Simon who does end up with Alice on her last night of freedom watching the opera. The pair also end up in an unfortunate position sliding around on the floor with no clothes on. Wedding preparations also go badly wrong with the planner upset at both Alice and Snoo, though they manage to proceed regardless, to find they have already missed the conference.

2. Ticks & Foibles

Snoo has unexpected news for Alice - she has bought a seventeen-bedroom house for them which includes an underground tunnel into the library, and signed them up to a mortgage. The situation leads Alice to panic, and requires Simon to explain the concept of mortgages to Snoo, and has unknowingly put up the library as collateral for the purchase. Alice also discovers Simon has a brother in prison, and becomes rather interested in knowing about him. Dr Cadogan eventually turns up with a suggestion for Alice to feature in a medical documentary covering foibles and ticks, which will net her a significant amount of money, though she discovers that the existing subject is also her nemesis and she has to come face to face with her.

3. Taken at the Flood

Alice has commandeered the sand from the child's play pit to make sandbags, as a flood is expected in the area despite them being on a hillock. Snoo meanwhile has prepared by sneaking animals in from the local zoo and stored them in the basement. The town becomes flooded when the river bursts its banks leading a large number of people to seek refuge in the library. Simon also discovers the situation with the animals in the basement, while Dr Cadogan arrives via boat though proves to be of little help. Simon meanwhile tackles the topic of the end of the world with Alice, and suggests that they should get around to "propagating the species", though his suggestion is interrupted when his rogue brother Thor turns up, and proves to be competition.

4. A Fairy Tale Ending

Snoo is feeling a bit down and reveals she is missing her real family, despite not knowing anything about them, leading Alice to set about tracking them down. Simon discovers that Dr Cadogan has been struck off the medical register as a first aider, which leads the library in trouble due to requiring one leading the doctor to train the three staff first aid. Alice tackles Snoo's family tree, though struggles to find any information with the exception of a mysterious woman, Rose, who may be her aunt. With the deadline for getting their first aid certificate, Dr Cadogan demonstrates the abdominal thrusts though the situation ends with them on the floor again. Their new found skill has an immediate use when Rose begins to choke on a grape, and leads to the discovery about her family relationship.