Who, Me?

A list of all Who, Me? articles from The Register. Please note that this list is currently incomplete (2020/09/11).

• Control is only an illusion, no matter what you shove on the Netware share
• You've duked it out with OS/2 – but how to deal with these troublesome users? Nukem
• We regret to inform you there are severe delays on the token ring due to IT nerds blasting each other to bloody chunks
• Take your pick: 0/1/* ... but beware – your click could tank an entire edition of a century-old newspaper
• A quick cup of coffee leaves production manager in fits and a cleaner in tears
• Overzealous n00b takes out point-of-sale terminals across the UK on a Saturday afternoon
• It was all Yellow: Mass email about a Coldplay CD breaks the internet
• Techies take turns at shut-down top trumps
• College student with 'visions of writing super-cool scripts' almost wipes out faculty's entire system
• Packet switching pickle prompts potential pecuniary problems
• Ah, this military GPS system looks shoddy but expensive. Shall we try to break it?
• Blue Monday: Efforts to inspire teamwork with swears back-fires for n00b team manager
• Techie in need of a doorstop picks up 'chunk of metal' – only to find out it's rather pricey
• Hold horror stories: Chief, we've got a f*cking idiot on line 1. Oh, you heard all that
• Sysadmin's three-line 'annoyance-buster' busts painstakingly crafted, crucial policy
• 'Numpty new boy' lets the boss take fall for mailbox obliteration
• Ooh, my machine is SO much faster than yours… Oh, wait, that might be a bit of a problem…
• Come mobile users, gather round and learn how to add up
• You were told to clean up our systems, not delete 8,000 crucial files
• Millennium Buggery: When things that shouldn't be shut down, shut down
• Bored IT manager automates Millennium Eve checks to ditch snoozing for boozing
• Staff sacked after security sees 'suspect surfer' script of shame
• Techie basks in praise for restoring workforce email (by stopping his scripting sh!tshow)
• Dev's telnet tinkering lands him on out-of-hour conference call with CEO, CTO, MD
• College PRIMOS prankster wreaks havoc with sysadmin manuals
• Sysadmin’s plan to manage system config changes backfires spectacularly
• Consultant misreads advice, ends up on a 200km journey to the Exchange expert
• Microsoft sysadmin hired for fake NetWare skills keeps job despite twitchy trigger finger
• DBA drifts into legend after inventive server convo leaves colleagues fearing for their lives
• Techie was bigged up by boss… only to cause mass Microsoft Exchange outage
• Can't get pranked by your team if nobody in the world can log on
• Scanning an Exchange server for a virus that spreads via email? What could go wrong?
• Oracle? On my server? I must have been hacked! *Penny drops* Oh sh-
• Rookie almost wipes customer's entire inventory – unbeknownst to sysadmin
• How an over-zealous yank took down the trading floor of a US bank
• Sysadmin misses out on paycheck after student test runs amok
• A boss pinching pennies may have cost his firm many, many pounds
• Trainer regrets giving straight answer to staffer's odd question
• Experimental 'insult bot' gets out of hand during unsupervised weekend
• Techie's test lab lands him in hot water with top tech news site
• Prank 'Give me a raise!' email nearly lands sysadmin with dismissal
• 'Can you just pop in to the office and hit the power button?' 'Not really… the G8 is on'
• Early experiment in mass email ends with mad dash across office to unplug mail gateway
• Sysadmin sank IBM mainframe by going one VM too deep
• Tech team trapped in data centre as hypoxic gas flooded in. Again
• Tired sysadmin plugged cable into wrong port, unleashed a 'virus'
• Security guard cost bank millions by hitting emergency Off button
• Sysadmin shut down server, it went ‘Clunk!’ but the app kept running
• Software changed the world, then died on the first of the month
• Developer’s code worked, but not in the right century
• Tech rookie put decimal point in wrong place, cost insurer zillions
• Did you test that? No, I thought you tested it. Now customers have it and it doesn't work
• Sysadmin's PC-scrub script gave machines a virus, not a wash
• Sysadmin hailed as hero for deleting data from the wrong disk drive
• Engineer crashed mega-corp's electricity billing portal, was promoted
• Admin needed server fast, skipped factory config … then bricked it
• ‘I broke The Pentagon’s secure messaging system – and won an award for it!’
• Sysadmin unplugged wrong server, ran away, hoped nobody noticed
• 'I crashed AOL for 19 hours and messed up global email for a week'
• Sysadmin shut down the wrong server, and with it all European operations
• Sysadmin wiped two servers, left the country to escape the shame
• Sysadmin held a rack of servers off the ground for 15 mins, crashed ISP when he put them down
• Developer mistakenly deleted data – so thoroughly nobody could pin it on him!
• Sysadmin left finger on power button for an hour to avert SAP outage
• Intellisense was off and developer learned you can't code in Canadian
• Developer recovered deleted data with his face – his Poker face
• Military techie mangled minicomputer under nose of scary sergeant
• ‘I crashed a rack full of servers with my butt’
• Sysadmin crashed computer recording data from active space probe
• 'The capacitors exploded, showering the lab in flaming confetti'