Who, Me?
A list of all Who, Me? articles from The Register.
- Control is only an illusion, no matter what you shove on the Netware share
- You've duked it out with OS/2 – but how to deal with these troublesome users? Nukem
- We regret to inform you there are severe delays on the token ring due to IT nerds blasting each other to bloody chunks
- Take your pick: 0/1/* … but beware – your click could tank an entire edition of a century-old newspaper
- A quick cup of coffee leaves production manager in fits and a cleaner in tears
- Overzealous n00b takes out point-of-sale terminals across the UK on a Saturday afternoon
- It was all Yellow: Mass email about a Coldplay CD breaks the internet
- Techies take turns at shut-down top trumps
- College student with ‘visions of writing super-cool scripts’ almost wipes out faculty’s entire system
- Packet switching pickle prompts potential pecuniary problems
- Ah, this military GPS system looks shoddy but expensive. Shall we try to break it?
- Blue Monday: Efforts to inspire teamwork with swears back-fires for n00b team manager
- Techie in need of a doorstop picks up ‘chunk of metal’ – only to find out it’s rather pricey
- Hold horror stories: Chief, we’ve got a f*cking idiot on line 1. Oh, you heard all that
- Sysadmin’s three-line ‘annoyance-buster’ busts painstakingly crafted, crucial policy
- ‘Numpty new boy’ lets the boss take fall for mailbox obliteration
- Ooh, my machine is SO much faster than yours… Oh, wait, that might be a bit of a problem…
- Come mobile users, gather round and learn how to add up
- You were told to clean up our systems, not delete 8,000 crucial files
- Millennium Buggery: When things that shouldn’t be shut down, shut down
- Bored IT manager automates Millennium Eve checks to ditch snoozing for boozing
- Staff sacked after security sees ‘suspect surfer’ script of shame
- Techie basks in praise for restoring workforce email (by stopping his scripting sh!tshow)
- Dev’s telnet tinkering lands him on out-of-hour conference call with CEO, CTO, MD
- College PRIMOS prankster wreaks havoc with sysadmin manuals
- Sysadmin’s plan to manage system config changes backfires spectacularly
- Consultant misreads advice, ends up on a 200km journey to the Exchange expert
- Microsoft sysadmin hired for fake NetWare skills keeps job despite twitchy trigger finger
- DBA drifts into legend after inventive server convo leaves colleagues fearing for their lives
- Techie was bigged up by boss… only to cause mass Microsoft Exchange outage
- Can’t get pranked by your team if nobody in the world can log on
- Scanning an Exchange server for a virus that spreads via email? What could go wrong?
- Oracle? On my server? I must have been hacked! *Penny drops* Oh sh-
- Rookie almost wipes customer’s entire inventory – unbeknownst to sysadmin
- How an over-zealous yank took down the trading floor of a US bank
- Sysadmin misses out on paycheck after student test runs amok
- A boss pinching pennies may have cost his firm many, many pounds
- Trainer regrets giving straight answer to staffer’s odd question
- Experimental ‘insult bot’ gets out of hand during unsupervised weekend
- Techie’s test lab lands him in hot water with top tech news site
- Prank ‘Give me a raise!’ email nearly lands sysadmin with dismissal
- ‘Can you just pop in to the office and hit the power button?’ ‘Not really… the G8 is on’
- Early experiment in mass email ends with mad dash across office to unplug mail gateway
- Sysadmin sank IBM mainframe by going one VM too deep
- Tech team trapped in data centre as hypoxic gas flooded in. Again
- Tired sysadmin plugged cable into wrong port, unleashed a ‘virus’
- Security guard cost bank millions by hitting emergency Off button
- Sysadmin shut down server, it went ‘Clunk!’ but the app kept running
- Software changed the world, then died on the first of the month
- Developer’s code worked, but not in the right century
- Tech rookie put decimal point in wrong place, cost insurer zillions
- Did you test that? No, I thought you tested it. Now customers have it and it doesn’t work
- Sysadmin’s PC-scrub script gave machines a virus, not a wash
- Sysadmin hailed as hero for deleting data from the wrong disk drive
- Engineer crashed mega-corp’s electricity billing portal, was promoted
- Admin needed server fast, skipped factory config … then bricked it
- ‘I broke The Pentagon’s secure messaging system – and won an award for it!’
- Sysadmin unplugged wrong server, ran away, hoped nobody noticed
- ‘I crashed AOL for 19 hours and messed up global email for a week’
- Sysadmin shut down the wrong server, and with it all European operations
- Sysadmin wiped two servers, left the country to escape the shame
- Sysadmin held a rack of servers off the ground for 15 mins, crashed ISP when he put them down
- Developer mistakenly deleted data – so thoroughly nobody could pin it on him!
- Sysadmin left finger on power button for an hour to avert SAP outage
- Intellisense was off and developer learned you can’t code in Canadian
- Developer recovered deleted data with his face – his Poker face
- Military techie mangled minicomputer under nose of scary sergeant
- ‘I crashed a rack full of servers with my butt’
- Sysadmin crashed computer recording data from active space probe
- ‘The capacitors exploded, showering the lab in flaming confetti’