John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme

List of sketches featured in John Finnemore’s Souvenir Programme. The show has run for seven series on BBC Radio 4 with the first series airing back in 2011. This page contains a list of sketches in the series for reference.

* Bracketed items are related sketches.

Series 1

Episode 1

• Man with van
• “Halt, traveller...”
• Tell me more
• A message for Katie
• Winnie the Pooh
• Straight-talking
• Noise of the Tardis
• Ja-mai-ca?
• Since you asked me

Episode 2

• The Three Little Pigs
• Catnav (1)
• Evolution
• Voltaire
• Catnav (1)
• “Where have they gone”
• The Archers
• Hungry Hippos
• Catnav (1)
• Since you asked me

Episode 3

• Exams
• Expedition (1)
• Trophies
• What should we do with a drunken sailor?
• Expedition (1)
• Political questioning
• Jekyll and Hyde
• Over-analytical
• Expedition (1)
• Since you asked me

Episode 4

• Rome
• Contacting the spirits
• Zoo song – Meerkats (1)
• Cold war
• Pamper
• Zoo song – Penguins (1)
• The mighty emperor
• Zoo song – Gnus (1)
• Since you asked me

Series 2

Edinburgh Fringe Special

• The silent majority (1)
• A quest
• The ants and the grasshopper
• Sporting inspiration
• The silent majority (1)
• Cats vs dogs
• Depression
• Since you asked me

Episode 1

• Laura’s new boyfriend
• The museum (1)
• Sun and Moon
• Jesus
• King Solomon
• The museum (1)
• Stoppable: The Tram Story
• Ugly duckling
• Contract negotiations
• The museum (1)
• Therapy
• The museum (1)
• Since you asked me

Episode 2

• The cuckoo
• Compensation (1)
• The Archers
• Be unoriginal!
• Compensation (1)
• Supervisor for the day
• The “my dog...” song
• Pythagoras’ Second Theorem
• New cinema
• The Interview Sketch
• Compensation (1)
• Since you asked me

Episode 3

• Kermit
• Peculiar (1)
• The messenger
• Nobody Knows! (2)
• Interview with a vulture
• Peculiar (1)
• Investment banking
• Nobody Knows! (2)
• The sports fan
• Peculiar (1)
• Since you asked me

Episode 4

• Redundancy
• Teacher (1)
• The sitcom character (2)
• Credit card
• Chess
• “Insomnia” song
• The sitcom character (2)
• Teacher (1)
• The goldfish invent computer programming
• Since you asked me
• The sitcom character (2)

Episode 5

• Moths
• The Supermongers (1)
• “Awesome”
• Famous Five
• The Supermongers (1)
• Cramped table
• Etymology
• The go-getter
• The Supermongers (1)
• Healthy and safety
• The Supermongers (1)
• Since you asked me

Episode 6

• The silent majority (1)
• Crufts
• Spoilers (2)
• King of the Jews
• Quiz show interview
• Spoilers (2)
• The news
• The silent majority (1)
• Gymnastics
• Spoilers (2)
• The silent majority (1)
• “Thank you, Captain Dinosaur” song
• Since you asked me

Series 3

Episode 1

• Phones in pubs
• Sponsorships
• Caller display
• Hotel towels
• Iconic (1)
• Hearing test
• Crossing signal
• Spiny porcupine song
• PPI insurance
• Vibrant (1)
• Rat sanctuary
• Train intercom
• Literally (1)
• Lucy’s complex dilemma

Episode 2

• Courteous driving
• Sniffer dog
• Audiobook reading (1)
• Choices
• House-sitting
• Audiobook reading (1)
• Dating
• The interview sketch
• Ordering coffee
• Audiobook reading (1)
• Since you asked me

Episode 3

• Art exhibit
• RNLI interview
• A childhood friend
• Mafia nicknames
• Squash match
• Carmela Vitale
• Voice of authority
• Interesting history
• Name change
• Leaving a message
• Technically…

Episode 4

• The goat farm
• The Archers
• Fairyland (1)
• Troy
• The Interview Sketch
• The Owl and the Pussy-Cat
• Robin Hood
• Fairyland (1)
• Life drawing class
• The bitter argument
• The surprise witness

Episode 5

• Time travel
• Famous anecdotes the way they really happened – Arthur Rubinstein (1)
• Harrison family court
• The comedian
• Famous anecdotes the way they really happened – Winston Churchill (1)
• Have all your belongings
• The bio-printer
• Famous anecdotes the way they really happened – Dorothy Parker (1)
• Hibernation
• Guy Fawkes
• Famous anecdotes the way they really happened – Oscar Wilde
• Since you asked me

Episode 6

• Stamp collecting
• The opinionated man
• The Interview Sketch
• Basking sharks (1)
• Scientific research
• The gates of heaven
• Expert witness
• Basking sharks (1)
• Explorers
• Banana or olive
• The “red trousers” song

Series 4

Episode 1

• School inspector
• Body-guarding the prime minister (1)
• Fish-life
• Snap!
• Body-guarding the prime minister (1)
• “No evil” song
• The freedom to vote
• Sisyphus
• The 1lb shop
• Body-guarding the prime minister (1)
• Since you asked me

Episode 2

• The oil tanker
• Racism
• Hotel check-in
• Fancy watches
• Quasimodo
• At the vets
• Since you asked me
• Apologies to the country of Belgium

Episode 3

• Wedding invitation
• Negotiating with Genghis Khan (1)
• Meeting of the Suns
• Poetry
• Negotiating with Genghis Khan (1)
• The film thoughts
• The personality change
• Furniture
• Negotiating with Genghis Khan (1)
• Since you asked me

Episode 4

• Shop sketch (1)
• Careers speech
• Bowling pins
• Shop sketch (1)
• The interview sketch
• Shop sketch (1)
• “My baby” song
• Thomas the Tank Engine
• Shop sketch (1)
• Since you asked me

Episode 5

• The store detective (1)
• A quick decision
• Kinetic watches
• The store detective (1)
• Funeral services
• The store detective (1)
• Camouflage
• The store detective (1)
• Planning a revolution
• Since you asked me

Episode 6

• Charitable donation
• Whales
• Celsius and Fahrenheit
• Just say no
• Aliens
• “5th February” song
• Work errands
• Tesco restoration trust
• Since you asked me

Series 5

Episode 1

• The first bet
• School slogan
• The magic mirror
• Chuggers
• Singin’ the blues song
• Brontesaurus
• Mulligan’s bank
• R.O.Y.G.B.I.V.
• Since you asked me

Episode 2

• The management consultants
• Voice in the head
• The news
• Canvas
• Chocolate geek
• The Titanic
• Pavlov
• The friend
• Since you asked me

Episode 3

• Announcements
• Moving out…
• Kairates!
• The interview sketch
• Procrastination song
• Retirement speech
• The moon landing
• Hunter-gatherers
• Since you asked me

Episode 4

• Innuendo
• “I should say something” (1)
• Certainty
• Sodom and Gomorrah
• “I should say something” (1)
• Electing a pope
• Mocking religion
• “I should say something” (1)
• Since you asked me

Episode 5

• Teaching
• Search engines
• Put it on a plate song
• “Why can’t I sing?” (1)
• Donkey charities
• Pet tips… for the pets (1)
• The recorder
• Ranjit
• Pet tips… for the pets (1)
• Since you asked me

Episode 6

• The red signal (1)
• Nice cop, nasty cop….
• Sorry
• Cerberus song
• “What are your hobbies?”
• Appreciating the driver (1)
• The cast rebels
• Since you asked me

Series 6

Episode 1 (Christmas Edition)

• John Mulligan stores Christmas advert
• Good King Wenceslas
• Voting for Christmas (1)
• Holly and ivy
• December 27th song
• Voting for Christmas (1)
• Baby’s first Christmas
• Identifying Santa Claus
• Father Ramadan
• Voting for Christmas (1)
• Since you asked me

Episode 2

• Greeting kisses
• 0—7—7—1489841—5
• Save the children
• The Holy Grail
• Self-driving cars
• As I was walking…
• The battle of Waterloo
• Favourite kid
• Since you asked me

Episode 3

• Discussing a problem
• The rubbish cop (1)
• Paco Bell’s Canon (2)
• The wardrobe
• Tooth fairy
• Self-obsessed
• Patsy Straightwoman
• The rubbish cop (1)
• Paco Bell’s Canon (2)
• Since you asked me

Episode 4

• Going to St. Ives
• The Fire Brigade (1)
• New floor
• Socrates
• Paying respects
• The perfect speech
• The Fire Brigade (1)
• The Archers
• Since you asked me

Episode 5

• Dingo Starr
• Wolverine
• The snake
• Benedict Cumberbatch
• Remember you are but a man
• Behind Closed Doors
• King James
• The truck stop song
• Since you asked me

Episode 6

• Doctor on board?
• Pet tips… for the pets (1)
• The peacocks
• Pet tips… for the pets (1)
• Quiz show skills
• Pet tips… for the pets (1)
• Raising awareness for Celeriac
• Pet tips… for the pets (1)
• The cast calls for new parts
• Missed connections
• Since you asked me (the musical)
• Pet tips… for the pets (1)

Series 7

Episode 1

• Oedipus complex
• “Kismet, Hardy”
• Reincarnation
• The children sequels
• The North Korea poem
• The Animal Interview Sketch + the gnu song
• Clickbait
• Teddy bear’s conference
• Since you asked me

Episode 2

• The otter sanctuary
• The caterpillar murders
• The Interview Sketch
• Mulligan Autosighter
• Vampire wedding venue
• Coming round the mountain
• Restaurant discussions
• Spooktacular
• Since you asked me

Episode 3

• The cheeky favour
• A familiar face
• Award speech
• Bucket list
• The conductor
• Most important thing in life…
• The Animal Interview Sketch
• Macbeth and Macduff
• Actors
• Labours of Hercules + John gets it wrong
• Since you asked me

Episode 4

• Car rental
• The baby game
• Lady Godiva
• Moral Maze theme song
• The Animal Interview Sketch
• Arranging a meetup
• Taps in the bathroom
• Johnson and Boswell
• Since you asked me

Episode 5

• Augustus Caesar
• Want to play a game
• Designing animals
• Terms of sequence
• The Interview Sketch and Animal Interview Sketch
• Saint George and the Dragon
• All about animals
• Sunset
• The funeral
• Scarecrows
• Prime Minster’s Question Time and Gardeners’ Question Time

Episode 6

• Mulligan’s hat heist
• Adopting a leopard
• The weather forecast
• The ‘leaving do’ song
• Unforgettable
• Cake decorating
• The Interview Sketch
• Accidentally hearing some of JFSP
• Since you asked me

Series 8

Episode 1

• Lasagna
• Noah’s Ark(s)
• The Triangle maker
• Zeus, king of the Gods
• The Interview Sketch
• Snow White
• Since you asked me
• Sounds app

Episode 2

• “Just let us finish”
• Robin Hood’s Merry Men
• The wedding speech
• The strawberry and the cactus
• Don’t know much
• Driving test + John tries to offend everyone
• Where’s my epiphany?
• Since you asked me

Episode 3

• Beekeepers
• The initial
• An American podcast (1)
• Mnemonics (2)
• The voice in your head
• An American podcast (1)
• The Interview Sketch
• The Toymaker
• Pub-based competitions
• The will reading
• An American podcast (1)
• Mnemonics (2)
• Special message

Episode 4

• Police dog handler
• The budget
• Taxi driver (1)
• Wombles
• “Couldn’t do it”
• Taxi driver (1)
• The talk
• Wheels on the bus…
• Taxi driver (1)
• Since you asked me

Episode 5

• Darwin’s theory
• A single wish
• Creature design (1)
• The solo ascent (2)
• The undertakers
• Minimum: four characters
• The geology book
• The solo ascent (2)
• Wolf in sheep’s clothing
• Creature design (1)
• The solo ascent (2)
• Since you asked me

Episode 6

• Millionaire’s Shortbread
• Not very interested...
• Penalty commentary
• Finnemore commentary
• 24 hours
• Voice impersonations
• Dissenting opinions
• "Never a song for Laurie"
• Since you asked me