Series 1The first series did not have episode titles.
Jared, Phoebe, Simon, and Mel are young members of a new and as yet unnamed political party they have started to discuss their various policies. New arrival Duncan joins believing their is a prospect of cake on offer for his birthday party after being invited by Jared, as opposed to a political meeting. The group brings up the discussion of the party name and colour, which results in various disagreements, before voting by elimination on a leader which results in Duncan being nominated as the least worst choice. Much to the chagrin of the others, Duncan offers to resign but not before getting cake.
The group struggle through a vote on being “in favour of China” as Phoebe is holding up proceedings by talking to her new boyfriend on the phone. A lack of pen leaves them unable to record events of the meeting. Looking to her date with new boyfriend Eamon, the group discusses the age difference leaving her with doubts. Simon is also upset at losing his hair while the group suggests he shave it off. Attempting to offer advice having studied politics, Eamon is rejected by the group with Phoebe unwilling to leave with him; thus ending the relationship.
While discussing climate change policy, Duncan is having problems rendering him tied to the toilet after attending a weekend barbecue. With Jared’s parents being away, he has been left some “emergency money” which the others suggest should be used to buy takeaway. Spotting Jared’s parents Polish gardener, the group begin to argue about his workers rights before a bird flies into a window. Attempting to kill the bird humanely, Jared stamps on its head. Suggesting the gardener will clean up the mess, the gardener resorts to blackmailing the group for fifty pounds.
Outside a council building, the five launch a protest about stopping the war in Afghanistan and attempt to raise the profile of the party. Due to the rain however, their demonstration is confined to Mel’s car with the windows rolled up. When a police officer turns up querying the groups position outside the offices, he reveals that their protest is actually outside the parking permits centre. As part of his protest, Jared knocks a cyclist off his bike with his trombone, who has the police officer return shortly after. Only using the foot brake as a workaround for not parking, Mel forgets and lets the car hit the police officers motorcycle; getting them all arrested.
1. All Publicity is Good Publicity
Mel tells the group that a local newspaper journalist will come around to interview and photograph them. Simon suggests that they may appear too ‘white’ and possibly need more diversity, before Phoebe suggests a dwarf she knows which might help. Mel decides to reveal she is bisexual and wants them to come up with a policy on diversity. The group talks Duncan into pretending to be disabled and sit in a wheelchair, before the journalist arrives to find him with his legs crossed. Only asking about a rise in tuition fees, the journalist prepares to leave leaving the group irate at the lack of interest in their own policies. Duncan stands up after the journalist leaves, only to be discovered when she soon returns.
2. It’s Technology, Stupid
Trying to setup their policy on technology, there is some contention over suggesting that technology makes people stupid. Jared ends up revealing that he gained a U in GCSE maths before his mum enters unable to speak after losing her voice. Phoebe suggests collating the party notes onto Jared’s laptop. Watching the badly edited party video that Jared has made, the group find the comments are somewhat negative. Jared also has to go on the defensive to prevent the group finding out the contents of his browsing history. While Duncan attempts to fix a pop-up issue, Duncan accidentally opens some porn when Jared’s mother walks in and sends him to his room.
3. Prison Ain’t All That Bad
Phoebe receives a text from a mysterious person named Deep Voice, who has given her his room key card; much to the groups intrigue. As the conversation rambles on to prison policy, Simon reveals his father was in prison for fraud with Mel and Phoebe becoming worried about what he might have learnt in prison. Deep Voice turns up and Phoebe attempts to introduce him but can’t remember his name. Simon finds that his bicycle has been stolen after Deep Voice leaves and demands Phoebe call him, though she is reluctant for appearing needy. Simon takes her phone to ring him, and demands he give his bike back. Simon’s dad arrives with an axe in hand, causing Phoebe to faint, and reveals he found some local kids had stolen the bike. Deep Voice then returns asking after Simon, but ends up punching Simon’s dad for the theft accusation.
4. Is the Party Over?
The group are distracted by a homeless man hanging around Jared’s house, as Jared tries to get them back onto policy talk. Jared reveals his parents are selling the house and he is moving to the Isle of Wight. The estate agent arrives as the group try to come up with social policies, but continue to get distracted. Phoebe takes it upon her self to start banning a range of drugs as policy. Mel becomes upset at having the homeless man ignored, and gives him some biscuits while a couple attempt to look around the house. The homeless man proceeds to ungratefully dump the biscuits on the lawn. Downbeat about the future of the party with Jared moving, Mel storms out and shouts at the homeless man and ends up getting chased around the garden by him, as Jared reveals his plan to prevent the sale of the house.
1. The Curry
The group head to a curry house for a party meeting, but their attempts to order ends up in bickering, before Duncan takes charge of the situation. Mel however has to make sure her order does not contain coconut as she is allergic to it. Duncan has also “bulked up” over the summer, but complains his coconut eczema cream costs more as he has to use more. Simon queries with the others about the curry house having a white man as a waiter which he finds somewhat odd. Jared announces the he is running as an MP for Corby with the others as part of the team. As the meal begins to arrive, Mel makes the mistake of dipping her bread into Duncan’s cream causing her to have an allergic reaction.
2. The Grundy
Mel is in hospital after an appendix operation as the other members of the party visit her bedside. Planning to visit Phoebe’s Grundy (grandfather) after Mel, the group talk elderly housing policy, and end up coming up with a “bus house” known as the Grundy Bus that they can live on. Attempting to find smelling salts to wake Mel, a nurse catches Jared smelling normal salts though it appears to him as though he is taking drugs. Jared then takes to sniffing Duncan’s pocket lint, before Mel wakes up in a grumpy mood. Begging them to leave her alone so she can sleep, the four leave to find Grundy. Leaving grapes by his bedside, they realise they have left them by the wrong bed and when Jared attempts to retrieve them, he is caught by the nurse who thinks he is stealing. The nurse also ends up revealing that Mel had a procedure to solve her piles.
3. The Splits
The group are on the train to Corby ahead of the by-election, and are attempting to work out how to move a man with a reserved seat from a table. Listening to music via headphones, the group figure he is from Europe. Simon launches into a tirade on Europe, which soon becomes party policy to be against it. The man leaves for the toilet, leaving Simon to steal his seat. Duncan attempts to do the splits in the train aisle but ends up injuring himself. When the man returns and attempts to gain his seat back, Jared tries to pretend he doesn’t understand him, leaving the man to find the guard. The guard arrives, with Phoebe eventually moving after some argument. Upon checking tickets, the guard finds Jared, Simon, Mel, and Phoebe have booked on a family ticket requiring them to pay an upgrade. With the card machine down, they have to pay cash but have no money. Jared attempts to borrow money from the European man, but he pretends not to speak English.
The party are at a radio station in Corby ahead of an interview Jared is giving. Duncan has brought along his baby nephew Aspinall, which provides some distraction prior to the interview when they are supposed to be working on preparation. Suggesting that Duncan’s sister could be in their ad campaign, Jared ends up railing against the name of her kids being pretentious for a working class family. Phoebe takes to playing with the baby by pressing him, causing him to be sick all over Jared. Duncan offers to swap his shirt, and heads off to find the toilet but ends up in the interview seat by mistake. Before long he is announcing the terrible policies including reserving Wales for dwarves and talking about his enjoyment of porn. As the interview is going terribly, Jared attempts to interrupt and take over the interview, just as it ends.
The group are driving up to Scotland to protest Donald Trump at his golf course. Mel is pregnant with Jared’s child, Duncan needs the toilet, and the five are arguing about the size of the car. Since their last meeting as a political party, each member has gone in their own direction but decided to meet up to attempt politics again to try and save the world in their own way. However, it is found out that Jared has booked a room at the hotel and intends to play a round of golf, much to Mel’s disgust. Disappointment increases when Phoebe finds it is actually Trump Junior turning up. While attempting to pull into the motorway services, Simon crashes the car into a ditch and Mel goes into labour. Hoisting Mel to the nearby services with the use of a Donald Trump baby balloon, Mel resorts to having to deliver in a Pret A Manger. The baby girl, Mel Junior, is born leaving Jared disappointed it isn’t a son.