Andrew Steele


Series 1

1. The New Seeker

Stuart is made redundant from his job at the Job Centre, informed by former one-night-stand and his love interest Nicola, after a staff vote and an accusation of him being a chair sniffer. Initially he takes to trying to get his job back before queuing to sign on. While waiting he meets former school friends Joe and Terry who relentlessly bullied him when he was younger. They are also upset that Stuart has been avoiding them for some time believing he has outgrown them. However, the three get to talking and come to an understanding, though Joe's revelation that he was the source of the "chair sniffing" complaint leads to some bad feeling.

2. The Diary

Joe resorts to stealing Nicola's diary from her desk, rather than the weird gift of a tin of corned beef which Stuart had left and decided he should get back. As the pair read through her secrets, Stuart decides to be different and match his personality to what she expects. Joe however thinks he can't do it, and the pair end up arguing about who out of their mothers is funniest. After Joe spends some time listening to Nicola, and pretending to care about the things she does, she agrees to a date. Looking for a piece of paper to write down her new mobile number he pulls a page out of her diary, and she quickly works out the scheme and finds the gift.

3. That Bloke Keeps Looking at Us

Deciding to become a history teacher, Stuart is hitting the text books while waiting in the job centre queue. Joe and Terry question why, until they realise that Nicola's new boyfriend is also a history teacher and find its Stuart's way of trying to impress her. Meanwhile, a man sat elsewhere in the job centre is believed to be staring at them. The three wonder who he is looking at, with Joe wondering whether he is a hitman and Terry believing it is the fraud office looking into working while claiming job seekers allowance. Having had enough of the games, Stuart heads over to talk to the man and finds out that he is Terry's father.

4. The Scratchcard

Joe and Terry replace Stuart with new best friend, Janice, who has only ever worked as a pharmaceutical trial guinea pig. Stuart's late arrival finds his seat has been taken by her and also discovers that the incapable Gary Probert has taken over his job, and is working closely with Nicola, who is struggling to get him to operate the computer. Janice returns with a can of Tennent's and a scratchcard, which she wins fifty thousand pounds on, before collapsing and dying. Stuart, Joe, and Terry take to claiming the scratchcard, but end up arguing about who should hold it. Stuart also gets the impression that Gary is seeking Nicola's affections, and ends up in a fight with him.

5. The Baby

Stuart arrives in a suit after having an interview, much to Joe and Terry's dismay. They also find someone has left a baby in the Job Centre under a seat, leaving Stuart, Joe and Terry to look after it when they don't come back. The trio resort to arguing about which character they would be in Three Men and a Baby. Joe wonders whether they can convert this opportunity to create a best selling toy, though Stuart's challenge to find someone who thinks a robot which can go to the toilet is a good idea goes badly when Joe asks Gary. Stuart hatches a plan to impress Nicola by using the baby, though finds the police soon arriving believing the child has been kidnapped.

6. Seek Hard

At the job centre, armed robbers take the people hostage after being cornered by the police whilst in the middle of a bank robbery. Terry however initially fails to realise the situation as he is more interested in trying to cook a potato with his mind. Stuart wonders whether this is his opportunity to prove to Nicola that he can be heroic, and is further encouraged by Joe who claims that Nicola had a fling on holiday with Christian Bale. As the robbers make some obscure demands, one of them makes friends with Joe which incurs the wrath of his father - the lead robber - and starts an argument with his mother - the other robber. In the confusion, Stuart attempts to grab the robbers gun but ends up tripping over the raw potato and being knocked out.

Series 2

1. So What Did I Miss?

2. The Wedding Crushers

3. I Kissed a Bear, and I Liked It

4. Stu's Birthday

5. The Eight Letter Word

6. The Boy With the Wogan Tattoo