Andrew Steele

Seekers

Series 1

1. The New Seeker

Stuart is made redundant from his job at the Job Centre, informed by former one-night-stand and his love interest Nicola, after a staff vote and an accusation of him being a chair sniffer. Initially he takes to trying to get his job back before queuing to sign on. While waiting he meets former school friends Joe and Terry who relentlessly bullied him when he was younger. They are also upset that Stuart has been avoiding them for some time believing he has outgrown them. However, the three get to talking and come to an understanding, though Joe's revelation that he was the source of the "chair sniffing" complaint leads to some bad feeling.

2. The Diary

Joe resorts to stealing Nicola's diary from her desk, rather than the weird gift of a tin of corned beef which Stuart had left and decided he should get back. As the pair read through her secrets, Stuart decides to be different and match his personality to what she expects. Joe however thinks he can't do it, and the pair end up arguing about who out of their mothers is funniest. After Joe spends some time listening to Nicola, and pretending to care about the things she does, she agrees to a date. Looking for a piece of paper to write down her new mobile number he pulls a page out of her diary, and she quickly works out the scheme and finds the gift.

3. That Bloke Keeps Looking at Us

Deciding to become a history teacher, Stuart is hitting the text books while waiting in the job centre queue. Joe and Terry question why, until they realise that Nicola's new boyfriend is also a history teacher and find its Stuart's way of trying to impress her. Meanwhile, a man sat elsewhere in the job centre is believed to be staring at them. The three wonder who he is looking at, with Joe wondering whether he is a hitman and Terry believing it is the fraud office looking into working while claiming job seekers allowance. Having had enough of the games, Stuart heads over to talk to the man and finds out that he is Terry's father.

4. The Scratchcard

Joe and Terry replace Stuart with new best friend, Janice, who has only ever worked as a pharmaceutical trial guinea pig. Stuart's late arrival finds his seat has been taken by her and also discovers that the incapable Gary Probert has taken over his job, and is working closely with Nicola, who is struggling to get him to operate the computer. Janice returns with a can of Tennent's and a scratchcard, which she wins fifty thousand pounds on, before collapsing and dying. Stuart, Joe, and Terry take to claiming the scratchcard, but end up arguing about who should hold it. Stuart also gets the impression that Gary is seeking Nicola's affections, and ends up in a fight with him.

5. The Baby

Stuart arrives in a suit after having an interview, much to Joe and Terry's dismay. They also find someone has left a baby in the Job Centre under a seat, leaving Stuart, Joe and Terry to look after it when they don't come back. The trio resort to arguing about which character they would be in Three Men and a Baby. Joe wonders whether they can convert this opportunity to create a best selling toy, though Stuart's challenge to find someone who thinks a robot which can go to the toilet is a good idea goes badly when Joe asks Gary. Stuart hatches a plan to impress Nicola by using the baby, though finds the police soon arriving believing the child has been kidnapped.

6. Seek Hard

At the job centre, armed robbers take the people hostage after being cornered by the police whilst in the middle of a bank robbery. Terry however initially fails to realise the situation as he is more interested in trying to cook a potato with his mind. Stuart wonders whether this is his opportunity to prove to Nicola that he can be heroic, and is further encouraged by Joe who claims that Nicola had a fling on holiday with Christian Bale. As the robbers make some obscure demands, one of them makes friends with Joe which incurs the wrath of his father - the lead robber - and starts an argument with his mother - the other robber. In the confusion, Stuart attempts to grab the robbers gun but ends up tripping over the raw potato and being knocked out.

Series 2

1. So What Did I Miss?

Stuart returns to the job centre after a trip to America for six weeks, paying for it with compensation from the trip involving the raw potato. A new girl, Vanessa, has started but Nicola is struggling with her due to her annoying personality. Stuart also finds that Joe and Terry are hanging out with Nicola, leaving him jealous. Terry also cottons on to some of the remarks Stuart makes about America being rather unbelievable, and Joe admits that Stuart hasn't really been anywhere. Stuart eventually overhears Nicola laughing about him pretending to go to America, and heads in to sign on feeling humiliated, and the three feeling guilty. Speaking to Vanessa, Stuart and her hit it off immediately and announce that they are getting married.

2. The Wedding Crushers

Terry is grieving for his dead uncle who's funeral he has just attended. The three also find Stuart has become unbearable, and set about stopping the wedding however they can. Settling on planting drugs in her desk drawer in the hope it will cause Stuart to love at her differently, Stuart and Vanessa try to agree on a guest list. Nicola's attempt to plant the merchandise has her caught by a job seeker who blackmails her into teaching him to swim, while Joe and Terry attempt to talk him out of the wedding. However, they change their tune when he asks both to be Best Man. Vanessa also buys Nicola a pair of shoes as a gift, however a desk search by their boss threatens her job though Gary and his snooping may have saved the day.

3. I Kissed a Bear, and I Liked It

Stuart arrives at the job centre having just met Vanessa's parents, after having picked out a present from a toy shop from Vanessa's niece, and finding him kissing a talking toy bear. Joe questions whether he is into bears, while Nicola wonders if it is a euphemism for him coming out as gay. Stuart meanwhile debates whether he should tell Vanessa first, or hope her parents don't. Terry has found an egg in the building, and has taken to incubating it. Stuart receives a call from Vanessa's dad, and is invited to a furry sex party with both her parents attending. Back at the job centre, Stuart ends up sitting on the egg which turns out to be hard-boiled, and out of the fridge.

4. Stu's Birthday

Stuart's birthday has arrived, and Terry gives him a present - his own wallet previously taken by Terry, though without any of its previous contents, while Joe and Terry intend on throwing him a party. Meanwhile, Nicola has met a very handsome man, Ross who used to be a model though wants a change of career and is also a friend of Vanessa. While out, Joe begins to question Stuart on his sex life and finds out they are waiting until they are married before sleeping together. Nicola attempts to bride Vanessa into giving her Ross' phone number, and she attempts to get Stuart on board as the pair have their first argument. Out at the party, Stuart gets a rock thrown at him by Joe while Nicola discovers that Ross is a white supremacist.

5. The Eight Letter Word

Vanessa arrives to work late again and rather flustered, while Stuart also arrives attempting to avoid her. He reveals to Joe and Terry that he finally had sex with her, but climaxed by saying "sausages". Nicola is also slightly hurt when she hears about the event, but isn't told by Vanessa. Terry has also found a manky old cat that he believes can speak French. Stuart also sets about finding out who revealed what he said, believing that Vanessa wouldn't announce the news, despite everyone seeming to know. Discovering that Vanessa announced the news on Twitter, Stuart attempts to break off the wedding. However, Nicola's attempts to get Vanessa to confide in her results in her own dark, secret being revealed making Sausage-gate old news, and Stuart and Vanessa reconciling.

6. The Boy With the Wogan Tattoo

Joe, Terry, and Nicola are hungover from the stag-do, though Nicola can't remember who she had sex with. She questions Stuart when he finally arrives, and he can't remember but doesn't think it was him. Stuart also thinks he has lost the wedding rings and has a sore coccyx, which he discovers are an heirloom of Vanessa's grandparents. A mysterious text which requires Stuart to ask a 'Mr. Big' for his rings back, results in him hunting around for a way to get them back before Vanessa's parents arrive for lunch, though the holder of the rings turns out to be a bit of a surprise. Nicola also remembers a detail about the previous night - the man had a Terry Wogan tattoo on their backside.