Andrew Steele

The Exterminating Angels

1. Mouse

Brothers Steve and Tony visit a cafe which has a problem with a mouse, though the owner Alex doesn't want the creature to be killed. The pest controllers soon come across the rodent, and diagnose it as suicidal when it jumps off the top of the fridge, though is cushioned by its large girth. Offering some advice on keeping the mouse safe, they offer a miniature piano to allow the mouse to play music, and express himself as a way to provide therapy. However, the mouse's playing of melancholy music leaves Alex feeling glum himself. However, some tweaking of the piano has the mouse eventually playing happier music and leaves them with a satisfied customer.

2. Squirrels

Heading to a house call, owners Paul and Susan report that he can hear a tapping noise in their new house. Steve and Tony realise that they can hear Morse code, and determine that the problem in this case is squirrels. They are also making demands, which predominantly include leaving out nuts like the previous owners used to. However, the problems continue when Susan fails to put out the nuts and thereby reneges on the deal. Adamant that she won't be blackmailed, the squirrels take to stealing things including the cat, and up the demands. Meeting the demands the following morning, most of their items including the cat are returned.

3. Pigeon

At another job, the brothers attend a job in which pigeons have taken up residence in a loft. Tony discovers that there are hundreds of pigeons at one side of the loft, while one is at the other, and believes that there is a hierarchy causing the behaviour. The pair diagnose a messianic cult due to the expelling of pigeons from town centres around the country, and that they will have to leave of their own accord. Setting about getting a carrier pigeon to solve their issues, they find it dead not long after leaving Tony distraught. They set about improving the conditions for the group of pigeons, so they turn their backs on one which is trying to radicalise them.

4. Fox

Heading to the house of Mrs Ironside, Steve and Tony discover she is having problems with a fox which is trashing her garden. The exterminators however discover that the mess isn't such, it is art created by the fox. Leaving a number of items out for the fox to 'get it out his system', they return two hours later to find that the animal has been busy with lots more items brought in an arranged into a composition. They realise that the fox is working up a portfolio as the deadline for art funding is upon them, so the pair work quickly to get the fox out by using Liberal Democrat political material, which results in it leaving. It leaves Mrs Ironside unhappy however, with her house being a Labour-household.