Miscatex

Turf Wars

Losing the Plot

Edward Borrow, a timid and bashful man, meets an attractive woman, Amanda, who is working on her allotment. He decides to take up an allotment plot himself, but in doing so has to complete an application and attend an interview with authoritative site manager Bernie, who demands that anyone joining the allotment conform to the rules. With things looking unlikely, Edward manages to gain access when he reveals his father was a local landscaper who Bernie had admired all his life. Edward soon falls foul of the other allotment holders when he puts paving slabs all over his plot - for his deck chair, and has to put up some resistance to Bernie and the others attempts to get rid of him for daring to be different. However, his efforts end with his deckchair being set on fire and a meeting urging him to resign the plot. Amanda's talk though encourages him to continue, and he sets about confronting the deckchair vandals. Bernie resorts to trying to pay Edward to leave, but Amanda instead persuades him to hone his gardening skills.

An Incident at the Border

Enjoying a quiet time at the park, Olivia is reading the newspaper and discusses the new found independence of a country with Arthur. However, their peaceful time together is interrupted by Reiver who is establishing a border through the middle of the park with tape, on the authority of 'George' who is contactable via walkie-talkie. Arthur is on the wrong side of the border, which leaves the pair dealing with Reiver's bureaucracy and Kafkaesque rules and suggestions. Arthur is not allowed to cross without paperwork, but his attempts to do so result in him being tasered by Reiver. Trying to rationalise the situation with Reiver, Olivia eventually heads back home to get Arthur's passport. On returning, the situation doesn't improve, resulting in Olivia trying to deal with George on the radio herself. With Olivia and Arthur being divided by the border, they begin to turn on each other, but realise they want to be together. Arthur resolves to step over the border, where the pair are immediately shot by nearby guards.

How's Your Mother?

In a small village where gossip is rife, the anti-social and stand-offish Humphrey Partridge looks after his ailing elderly mother who nobody in the village has ever seen. Winning on the premium bonds, Humphrey begins to make plans to move to Canada, however they are put on hold when postman Raj breaks in to the house to put out a small fire while Humphrey is at work. Discovering nobody in the house, the police get involved with the belief that Humphrey has killed his mother. Taking to digging up the garden and hunting through the house, the police fail to find a body and release Humphrey who has become known in the news and leaving the lead detective embarrassed. While packing his case for Canada, his real mother who abandoned him as a child comes to his door having discovered his story in the newspaper. As she suggests Humphrey take care of her, he becomes angry and kills her by strangling before disposing of her body in the garden. Humphrey attempts to confess to his mothers murder, however the sergeant refuses to believe him.

The Accidental Head

Beth, in an interview with a journalist recalls the story of her trying to get her eleven year old son, Louis, a place in a good secondary school, Folgate, believing he has a genius that needs to be recognised. However, the family house is not quite in the Folgate catchment area. The alternative is to send Louis to St Chad's, a rougher, closer school. Setting about devising a plan, Beth wakes hsuband Jake up in the middle of the night to tell him about her latest idea - to educate Louis at home - until such time they can get him admitted to Folgate. She also has to contend with Ruth, an appeals facilitator. With her background in research, Beth discovers that if she pitches a drover's hut and flock of sheep on a nearby common which is also in the catchment area. This leads to a community forming around a free school, with Beth as the headmaster. However, despite the good reputation of their school, she still is not happy about the situation and manages to get Louis into Folgate.